So... thought I might get some sleep. Was winding down at 12:45 AM... and got paged for work. Still on the call, but sneaking a moment here because I'm just listening to the chatter.
And at 9 PM tonight, I have a software deployment to do. It could be 2 hrs and go smooth... or it could be a 6 hr nightmare. In between, of course, I'm expected to continue the usual workload. Working for a large corporation pretty much means I'm just a cog in the machinery. They only care about my health/mental health in how it affects my performance.
On top of all this, I am expecting a process server any day now (maybe today, even). :-(
Really starting to hate FB. My W has started messaging me there now, so I get on to check (not that I'm not on there too much already), but I CAN NOT stop myself from checking her profile. She's been very quiet, but today she had a post from a friend at work about a Zumba class, and it just made me sadder about her having this new life while I live like a prisoner here in the sticks. W is not very social, and this is very unlike her - of course I know she's going to be doing stuff, and I need to detach, but... at least this failure I can share here and try to do better.
We're not living together. She took over the new house we were buying. I can't sell this place any time soon. Probably won't be able to sell it at all. Market is essentially flat and this place is an old mobile home with attachments built on it. So, short of financial ruin, I'm stuck for some time.
Good day today. After another couple tough all-nighters for work, I got some good rest, then got in a good walk to the store,, some excercise and a bit of cleaning.
Had a good txt convo with W. She's coming to see the cat tomorrow, and offered again to bring me something from the store. This time I said yes, please and thank you. :-)
She said she'd brink me her diet Coke, because she's stopped drinking it. If you new my W you'd know that an alien has to have taken over her body for this to happen (I let it slide that the reasons she gave for it are things I had meantioned several time, but she didn't listen to me. ;-). Goes along with her going to a Zumba class.
Anyway, I just said "Wow. Good for you!"
Wish me luck being on my best DB behavior tomorrow, especially if brings up D stuff.
Kind of irritating that when she comes over it's like a shopping spree. She just takes things like one of 2 matching end tables....
It doesn't really bother me because I want any of it - we've been working on getting out of debt, and have moves so much, that all of our furniture is crap, anyway.
So what's with that mentality? Besides taking an end table, she took some more curtains down from the back room, *then* told me - she said "I took these curtains, but I brought the other ones" (that didn't fit the windows at the new place). She's very quiet and acting kind of skittish and shy. It's not like she's being demanding or acts like she owns everything. I'm wondering if it's because I said early on that I don't care about stuff, and we both hate this place, so she figures I don't care what it looks like?
Don't know, and I realize a WAW is as bad as an MLCer in some ways (and their may be a bit of MLC in there, too).
Talk about runaway thoughts. When she said she gave up drinking diet Coke because of aspartame depleting calcium, I looked it up and the first thing I see is that pregnant women should not drink it! Aaaaaahhh!
OK. Calming down now. I have enough problems without inventing more.
