Facing the 4th. Independence Day and WAS

[MileHigh]

Anyone else facing the holiday in the US with a WAS? Trying to be the one not initiating contact, working on yourself, etc?

What are you doing to keep yourself from bugging them, snooping, etc. etc. etc. LOL

Let's have a virtual party and keep each other from doing what doesn't work!

[MileHigh]

I should have said facing the holiday without the WAS. Either way is correct. Or heck, even if you get to be with them, but worried that it may be tense and difficult.

[DFE]

Not only facing the holidays without him but its also our 10 th anniversary. Double whammy. I know how you feel.

[MileHigh]

Ouch, DFE. My wife left on her birthday. That was sad. Hang in there. Going to be a rough day, so let's vow not to do anything stupid! :-)

[MileHigh]

Wow, DFE. I just noticed that not only are you in the same boat as me in that this is second time around for separating, but he left on the same exact day as my W. They don't know each other, do they? ;-)

Sorry if that wasn't so funny. Just trying to feel better. Hurting a lot tonight.

[MileHigh]

Had some communication with the W. Went very well. I think I stuck to the principles very well. Also did some GAL activities while she came over to visit cats and do some laundry.

[DFE]

Maybe there was a full moon that night. Anything stupid? How is hanging out with him tonight? That's stupid and I knew I would give in. I came up with something to do today for me and the kids. Something I knew he wouldn't agree to in case he asked. Never was his sort of thing. So he asked what are you all doing tonight and I told him and he asked if he could come. Even after I told him my parents were going. He has to,d me he is done but why does he keep hanging around? To make it easier on himself? I know I should tell him no when he asks but it's so hard.

[MileHigh]

Hmmmm. I don't thing hanging out with him is stupid, esp. since he initiated the idea. As long as you keep your cool while doing so! Of course, we mustn't be too eager, either. Always the balance, right?

I understand about the mixed signals. My wife acts at once like it's over, but never actually says so. When she asked if she could come visit the cats and do laundry, I volunteered that I was going out to the book store and to lunch, instead of hanging around here, which would probably have gone bad.

This morning she texted asking what I had told my mom, because she was surprised my mom had wished her a happy 4th. That's where I had to be very careful, but I told her I'd just said we're at the 2 separate houses right now, but no details with her or other family because friends and family take sides.

[DFE]

I think it's dumb because how is he supposed to feel what's like to really be single and divorced. He had the best life right now. Visit the kids when it's convenient and stay at his bachelor and when it's nt. he's needs to feel what divorce is really like.

Also I a, not staying this cordial once the D is over. I am done with him once the D is final. I, sure that goes against DB but enough is enough. I'm not pining over him once the D is finalized.

[MileHigh]

Oh, I get your point. Yeah, it's not good to let him have the best of both worlds.