Thought I Was Piecing, Now I'm Detaching 4

[job]

PON,
The link I posted to you does work for all of the thread within Smurf's thread.

[Harrier]

What is the point of having to label it? Real psychologist can't even agree. Not to mention every situation/person is unique.

PON I have a serious question - what is the end game here?

What do you want? (I feel like I need to take you out for a beer or something I mean I do live in CT)

You don't have to answer just think on it

[ThisDayForward]

Eastern CT? I would meet you 1/2 way.

I want my f%cking family unit back that I experienced so nicely from Jan - April.

When she being a "juice bag" to me I want my balls back to stick up for myself.

And I want to recover. That is the only piece I have real control over

[ThisDayForward]

Bond just fyi. The few times I spoke with MIL about it. She said "I don't take her crap, nor should you"

FYI. she does treat her mother like this at times. Her and her mother have F'd up relationship. They talk everyday but she resents her so bad

[MrBond]

"She said "I don't take her crap, nor should you""

Exactly.

She resents her mom because her mom doesn't give in to her. She may resent her mom, but I'm sure she respects her.

[ThisDayForward]

not sure if she respects her. TBH her mom is really negative. A real debbie downer and frankly I think she can be a real idiot and tend to agree with my W on it

[MrBond]

"A real debbie downer and frankly I think she can be a real idiot"

According to whose standards? Yours? You really haven't understood that DB includes an understanding or acceptance of someone else and how they are REGARDLESS of how you feel. Regardless of how you feel about her, your MIL is your W's mother (regardless of how your W treats her) and she gave you some solid advice. She doesn't deserve to be called an idiot. Do you like it when your W calls you that? Do you want your kids to think their grandmother is an idiot?

[ThisDayForward]

she is an idiot on how she treats my W (her daughter). She has never been supportive of her. She puts her down all the time and she is overly critical of her all the time. 1/2 of my W's issues are the way my MIL treats her. Yes she states it all the time. My W will say the root of my anxiety is my mother. Then of course a week later blame me

[MrBond]

"she is an idiot on how she treats my W (her daughter). She has never been supportive of her."

Be careful how you use the word "never". Don't speak in absolutes and to be honest, you only know what happened after you got M'd.

"1/2 of my W's issues are the way my MIL treats her. Yes she states it all the time. My W will say the root of my anxiety is my mother. Then of course a week later blame me"

So what does that tell you? That you're an idiot too?

Your W has problems that are her own. Even if her mother was critical of her, she doesn't have to be that way. And maybe that was the way her mother was raised. Either way you are not her and you should know by DB that her issues are her own and that you really shouldn't judge others. But that's my 2 cents.

[ThisDayForward]

Yes I shouldn't judge others but it pisses me off how critical she is of W.

On the flip side she doesn't put up with her poor me crying.

W was super nice to me tonight. Went out with her friends. She look damn good. Then again after dancing with Mary Palmer and her 5 twin sisters for months a hamster would look good.

Bond Hitler gave sound advice didn't make him a good person