MM, you are really complicating things. Your H is offering gifts. Accept them. Gift giving is a way we love one another. Your H is also telling you what his love language is. Read The 5 Love Languages. His offerings may also be his way of rebuilding your R. Let him give to you. In turn, you are giving to him by receiving. Keep this simple. You have a wonderful opportunity to care for your H's heart. Don't you want to do that?
mm, I think you might want to stop thinking of his "gifts" as "gifts". His offerings could very well be acts of service, from his perspective. IOW, he's showing you his love because he's "doing" things like getting you food, drink, etc.
Tx All... I do see how this could be considered his love for me. But, he would do this for anyone he was with during the day. As Bond says, I would be disappointed if he didn't do this for me. It took quite a long time for him to offer coffee's etc. to me after BD. So, I am greatful. But, just afraid of coming off as desperate for ANY offering. So, was trying to be more casual about it.
I have come to realize that I am not as detached as I need to be. Yesterday, I excused myself from work to go to the early show at the movies with my daughter. I did not give any explanation to h. I just went. But boy, did I feel guilty and anxious. Paranoid that he was going to call during the movie and question where I was and why I was not working. I did not even enjoy the movie because of this. In his mind, he is ALWAYS working and therefore so should I. I was even reprimanded and was told it was considered "luxury time" to be at the grocery store during our R.
Having a sad day today... I really miss being loved and loving him back. I miss so much. I miss my home, my stuff, my cat, the life I thought I had. The man I thought he was. I pray so much and have placed it into His hands... but, it still hurts at times.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
mm, i kind of doubt it. maybe he would run to the store to get his mom some cookies, but does he really share his cookies with just anyone? and if he shares with customers, would he run off to the store and get them a plate of them to take home with them and their kids?
KD... no, not at all... that was "special". His cookies are right up there!! Very important to him.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
Magic, As you grow and learn to detach more, you'll be able to recognize his LLs. The next time he offers you a cookie, take it and be sure to thank him. I think, in his own way, he was trying to be nice and make things just a bit more relaxing because he may have sensed some tension...but it was a very nice gesture on his part.
I'm glad you took time out and went to a movie. You have to do this every so often to keep up your pma.
BTW, it's time for a new thread. Your threads fill up quickly! You've got a lot of friends here cheering you on.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Snodderly... Oh, I recognized the cookies as nice offerings, for him to go out of his way to get them. I was very happy. But, I wondered about his left over pop. He drank the top half and left me the rest. Wasn't sure what to make of that one. It was offered like "you can have the rest of that, if you want". I didn't want to come across as desperate for his "left overs", so... I left it alone.
I will start a new thread... TX all!
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
