Wife said she was done! House sold, Moving forward

[Maritimer]

House is now sold, for alot less than I expected. I am looking forward to being by myself for a while.

I did everything I could do to become a better person but it never helped her seeing me in a different light. She did a wonderful job at pushing me away to the point that I am no longer attracted to her. I wanted to make it work for the family but if one person really wants out there is not much you can do but to accept it.

Seeing a mediator tonight to do up a memorandum of agreement. She threatened lawyers if I were to request 50/50 so I am accepting 70/30. I dont want her to be resentful for me having the kids. Just want to keep the peace.

All I want now is to get away from her and continue to focusing on myself. So far its been a rough day.

[Cadet]

PPD is a tough one, my guess is that it will take another year or two for her to realise what she has given up.

Just keep making the best YOU that can be.

Are you OK with the 70/30?

Because she is trying to CONTROL everything since her life is out of CONTROL right now.

What would happen if you stood up to her?

[Maritimer]

Great questions Cadet.

I have accepted it now, I can still see them every second day but I just cant have them sleep over. This is just temporary as it be reviewed in 2 years.

During our whole relationship she has been narcissistic and controlling, and im an easy going guy so it was good for a while. Until the kids came along and everything i did as a father was wrong, so I withdrew.

I have grown as a person from this whole ordeal and am a wonderful father no matter how she views it.

If I stood up to her she would sic the lawyers on me and I dont want to go that route. I dont want her to hold any resentment towards me for fighting 50/50. She is allowing me to see my kids on a frequent basis and I get to live my life without walking on eggshells.

I'll keep working on me and enjoy being with the boys when ever I can.

[Cadet]

Yea I understand.

The only other advice I can give you is that PPD often leads to a MLC later in life.

Your wife needs help and unfortunately you will not be able to give it to her.

Maybe someday she will realize it but it will be far in the future.

Keep being the BEST DAD that you can be!

[Maritimer]

Well I hope her MLC dont effect the kids to bad. Maybe she is having one now? Who knows.

As of now I have zero expectation and that makes me a little sad, Kinda feel like I failed. I see many post here where the spouse gives some type of indication of reconcile but not with my situation. I guess it would be harder if she was then to be let down again.

Its hard to balance creating another life and as I feel I am abandoning my kids. But that is what she wants so I have to accept it and move forward.

It will be a great weekend to be on the bike and trying to GAL. Lets bring on the sunshine and happy thoughts!

[Positivespin]

YOU DID NOT FAIL! Your wife is in deep.

Your boys are going to need their strong stable dad. STAY DRY AND CLEAN

Do you have a personal journal? Ive been keeping one. When you start its blah- simply the events of the day. A few weeks later you start exposing your feelings and your entries evolve...Im afraid to look back in mine

What ive found in my sitch is that just by being the stable one and being there every minute I can, my W flakes out and depends on me more and more to be there for D3. Im tracking it all in my journal.

S3 is going to need all the stability he can possibly get- Your it- its not going to come from mom

Take a multi vitamin and keep your health strong

Remember, they just want to spend time with you

Gulp and be AWESOME!!!!!:)

[Maritimer]

Thanks for the support Positivespin!

I was having a case of the blahs yesterday. I do keep a journal but its more of a weekly one.
Still staying clean and dry which helps my PMA,

looking for an apartment now that accepts dogs & kids... it not easy to find.

I take a multivitamin and exercise daily. I take S3 out for bike rides and swimming, we have fun with that. Lost a total of 50 pounds so far! Im proud of that.

[Papa4Life]

I know what you mean about slimming down. As far as that goes, D is better than Weight Watchers!

[Maritimer]

I know what you mean about slimming down. As far as that goes, D is better than Weight Watchers!

Its kinda embarrassing when people ask, What have you been doing to lose so much weight?

I say loosing your wife, house, kids, dog, and paying for half of everything you already own burns alot of energy!

[jp787]

One heck of a diet! 65 lbs so far for me.

I just say stress, I too am embarrassed to say because my W left me. Something I need to work on with my self worth still.