M - 39W- 38 M - 4 yr,Date-4 mths Son - 2 yr day care S - 9/12 Divorced- 10/10/13 Visits with son other week Working on myself & son,co-parent,change,assertive,alpha/beta, entrepeurneur,care,heal,centered
I have a feeling that the frequency of interactions with your son and ex is an issue here. How do you wish this to be (I imagine you often would have contact with your son, but none with your ex)? What is possible and reasonable in your eyes? It seems to me that there will be times when you can't/don't have interaction with him, tough though this is. If you expect your ex to respond within a certain amount of time to a call or text from you, will you do the same for her? That is, can/will the relationship/interaction be fully symmetric?
Some sort of framework and clarification of expectations would be good to make, agreed to by both sides. A mediator sounds like a useful person to assist in making this.
Luke
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
I would atleast need and answer in regards to health of my son. She hasn't answer in more than 24 hrs. I meet them both at a accidental Christmas party. She never informed, when I was checking on my son at daycare since she hasn't answered my text messages. Day care said there was party, then I changed my schedule to be there. But she just doesn't want me to spend time with him , as pathetic as it is, she is my obstacle to spend time and she is kind of my gate keeper to spend time with him, the advisararial role she love to hold.. Slowly I am breaking that ill pattern
M - 39W- 38 M - 4 yr,Date-4 mths Son - 2 yr day care S - 9/12 Divorced- 10/10/13 Visits with son other week Working on myself & son,co-parent,change,assertive,alpha/beta, entrepeurneur,care,heal,centered
So is it just me, or is it just holidays. I did this fruit fast for 3 days and it made me more centered . I need twine clarity. I will just follow the court orders and just be direct. I wanypt to move on. I think she is also dating , I saw her on match.com. I just want her to be happy and I want to just not waste anymore of my precious time.
M - 39W- 38 M - 4 yr,Date-4 mths Son - 2 yr day care S - 9/12 Divorced- 10/10/13 Visits with son other week Working on myself & son,co-parent,change,assertive,alpha/beta, entrepeurneur,care,heal,centered
That is good news about seeing your ex on match.com - perhaps her heart will fill with something other than bitterness now, and so improve your relationship with her as a byproduct.
Yes, you have to follow a court order. I think it is good to ask 100% of the time for 100% of what you want though (from EE); does the order apply to her also? Is she playing clean in a legal sense?
Can she accept that you love your son also?
I am just reading a book called Crucial Conversation Tools for Talking... - this might be useful to you also. It might be useful to wait until she has some luck on match before tackling a difficult conversation with her -
Good luck - Luke
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
Court order is for both, it's just the bear minimum we need to follow. Which she consistently under follows. I just made a PDF and I will send her so that it is there for review. I will need to start documenting other wise she keeps walking Don't know what her problem is but she likes to spike me for a fight. Or may be I am just bring defensive or we both are. I am just hoping this time will pass and we just move on with our lives, I just want to fast forward my life like this about 5 years. Hoping I will be married to some one else and her too and we just get along well and are adjusted to this divorse and bitterness. May be that is my vision of a better future.
M - 39W- 38 M - 4 yr,Date-4 mths Son - 2 yr day care S - 9/12 Divorced- 10/10/13 Visits with son other week Working on myself & son,co-parent,change,assertive,alpha/beta, entrepeurneur,care,heal,centered
Hi all merry Christmas to all. Reading this book divorce and new beginning. I am also reading sex premier for married men, working on my business, EE group, got a new gym, will sharpen my alpha side,been beta which women are not attracted to. Jut being assertive.
M - 39W- 38 M - 4 yr,Date-4 mths Son - 2 yr day care S - 9/12 Divorced- 10/10/13 Visits with son other week Working on myself & son,co-parent,change,assertive,alpha/beta, entrepeurneur,care,heal,centered
So its time to journal. I got to keep my plan solid now... It takes disciple and faith and persistence. I need to work on social style and being bold and take charge kind of persona
M - 39W- 38 M - 4 yr,Date-4 mths Son - 2 yr day care S - 9/12 Divorced- 10/10/13 Visits with son other week Working on myself & son,co-parent,change,assertive,alpha/beta, entrepeurneur,care,heal,centered
The more I read and learn the better I understand the events and things ther have unfolded in my life. I spoke to my father, who has been my best support. A man has to be a man. He needs to take the role of the leader of the house and the captain of the ship and women his co pilot.
M - 39W- 38 M - 4 yr,Date-4 mths Son - 2 yr day care S - 9/12 Divorced- 10/10/13 Visits with son other week Working on myself & son,co-parent,change,assertive,alpha/beta, entrepeurneur,care,heal,centered
Happy Newyear to all, I wish all of you guys to take a moment and connect to your inner core. Keep the juices flowing and follow the sign. Have faith that there is a path made just for your life and you can make that path while you walk. I really like the Indiana jones scene, you have to take that step into the future which is unknown and it's all air some times you need to walk on, actually thin air ...
M - 39W- 38 M - 4 yr,Date-4 mths Son - 2 yr day care S - 9/12 Divorced- 10/10/13 Visits with son other week Working on myself & son,co-parent,change,assertive,alpha/beta, entrepeurneur,care,heal,centered
