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A Message from Michele
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Re: Divorced-not done-But wondering ? [Re: MrBond] #2363591
07/03/13 12:48 AM
07/03/13 12:48 AM
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 208
Mid-Michigan
J
JJAC2005 Offline OP
Member
JJAC2005  Offline OP
Member
J
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 208
Mid-Michigan
Mr Bond.
she is dating someone now....
and has been seeing him since Nov '12.....Not too sure about how deep or involved it goes (donít really care)
But at this point, for her to want to remain friendly or pursue a friendship when there really isnít anything that ties us to that type of a relationship other than the fact that we enjoy each otherís companyÖÖI am optimistic....I'm hopeful....and I cannot thank you enough for all your comments and insight, and for the luck my way! I certainly need it!
I'm in a place right now where it really doesnít matter either way.
I have said my piece...I have planted the seeds of "what if" and "if we only would have done or known this"
And to that she will have to digest on her own....
The reasons for our divorce were not worthy of giving up on the love we had and I feel still have for each other.
She knows this and will be watching to see if I indeed do become the kind of man only a fool would walk away from.


M 52
W 40
D 15 (step)
S 12 (step)
Married 7, together almost 8
Separated 1 year before bomb from her "I love you, I'm just..."
BD final 8/22/12

Re: Divorced-not done-But wondering ? [Re: JJAC2005] #2363599
07/03/13 01:14 AM
07/03/13 01:14 AM
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 208
Mid-Michigan
J
JJAC2005 Offline OP
Member
JJAC2005  Offline OP
Member
J
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 208
Mid-Michigan

Originally Posted By: JJAC2005
I have said my piece...I have planted the seeds of "what if" and "if we only would have done or known this"
And to that she will have to digest on her own....


Add to this of course all of the personal growth I have been able to experience and learn from, my new found physical and mental self, the work on GAL, 180's, and becoming grounded again in what I need and want for my own happiness...and if it is to be down the road, "our own happiness"

I'm thinking that I'm going to be OK afterall....;)


M 52
W 40
D 15 (step)
S 12 (step)
Married 7, together almost 8
Separated 1 year before bomb from her "I love you, I'm just..."
BD final 8/22/12

Re: Divorced-not done-But wondering ? [Re: 4311] #2365861
07/10/13 03:35 AM
07/10/13 03:35 AM
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 34
D
dustmeoff Offline
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dustmeoff  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 34
'reconciliations do happen but healthy ones usually happen when both people have disconnected from the unhealthy previous relationship, have grown, and have been disconnected enough to honestly feel how it is to be alone and without their former partner.'

Priceless

Re: Divorced-not done-But wondering ? [Re: dustmeoff] #2368835
07/19/13 01:16 PM
07/19/13 01:16 PM
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 208
Mid-Michigan
J
JJAC2005 Offline OP
Member
JJAC2005  Offline OP
Member
J
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 208
Mid-Michigan
A very true statement.....
However, the here is "both" people have had to have done some sort of introspective changes on themselves!


M 52
W 40
D 15 (step)
S 12 (step)
Married 7, together almost 8
Separated 1 year before bomb from her "I love you, I'm just..."
BD final 8/22/12

Re: Divorced-not done-But wondering ? [Re: JJAC2005] #2368840
07/19/13 01:34 PM
07/19/13 01:34 PM
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 562
Canada
W
whitneypinch Offline
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whitneypinch  Offline
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 562
Canada
Boy, this is a tough situation to be in.

I have not seen a 'friendship" turn back into a relationship when it comes to a WAW.
I have seen it on these boards for men going back to their women but not women going back to their men (if they were a WAW).

I too am in a similar situation. Have had a couple of interactions with XW such as dinner out with the kids, breakfasts out with the kids etc.

She stared to see someone and was really serious and then broke it off. It hurt our kids so badly that my 10 year old daughter ended up in therapy.

Sometimes I just feel that these WAW are just trying to make piece with us, ease their guilt and show the kids that this is all ok.
My X tells me over and over she has no interest in me yet we do some things together as a family.

I think I am getting to the point of just wanting to tell her to get lost.


So much of DB is working on ourselves to be the man that no women would want to leave. I am starting to get resentful of this whole thing. How about accepting us for who we are. Obviously our WAW did not do that and felt the need to leave.
So maybe, they should just leave is alone to get on with our lives.....

Thats my rant for today..


Me/W: 46/36
D7.6/S6
T/M: 7.5/6.5
Bomb 12/05/07
D final: 03/03/09



Re: Divorced-not done-But wondering ? [Re: whitneypinch] #2369063
07/20/13 02:39 AM
07/20/13 02:39 AM
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 208
Mid-Michigan
J
JJAC2005 Offline OP
Member
JJAC2005  Offline OP
Member
J
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 208
Mid-Michigan
And a perfect rant it is ....thank you!


M 52
W 40
D 15 (step)
S 12 (step)
Married 7, together almost 8
Separated 1 year before bomb from her "I love you, I'm just..."
BD final 8/22/12

Re: Divorced-not done-But wondering ? [Re: JJAC2005] #2369961
07/23/13 08:45 AM
07/23/13 08:45 AM
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 208
Mid-Michigan
J
JJAC2005 Offline OP
Member
JJAC2005  Offline OP
Member
J
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 208
Mid-Michigan
Well one thing is for sure.... It's a whole lot tougher to dance alone than you would think
Apparently my friendship with my ex has been short-lived as she only says that she wants to maintain it for the kids and I should give up and seek somebody else as a romantic interest


M 52
W 40
D 15 (step)
S 12 (step)
Married 7, together almost 8
Separated 1 year before bomb from her "I love you, I'm just..."
BD final 8/22/12

Re: Divorced-not done-But wondering ? [Re: JJAC2005] #2369965
07/23/13 10:01 AM
07/23/13 10:01 AM
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 562
Canada
W
whitneypinch Offline
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whitneypinch  Offline
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 562
Canada
Oh my friend... I am soooo sorry.
This is exactly the situation I am in.

My ex and I get a long great yet she believes the solution is to go find new partners.

Its just so messed up.
As you can tell from my rant above...I want off the roller-coaster.
My divorce has made me a better man and a great father and for that I am thankful.
I am going to work on letting go and moving on.

JJ I hope today is a better day for you.


Me/W: 46/36
D7.6/S6
T/M: 7.5/6.5
Bomb 12/05/07
D final: 03/03/09



Re: Divorced-not done-But wondering ? [Re: whitneypinch] #2370313
07/24/13 02:27 AM
07/24/13 02:27 AM
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 208
Mid-Michigan
J
JJAC2005 Offline OP
Member
JJAC2005  Offline OP
Member
J
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 208
Mid-Michigan
Thanks WP..
Its a bit better....and I agree the roller-coster is a tuff ride!
I feel the same as you as in this whole experience has improved me in so many ways of groth...and sad but the ex isnt really paying any attention to anything other than enjoying herself and living in the moment.
I'm not ready to drop the rope just yet...I'm just going to continue to live a life that makes me look better and better.
I have a lot of ground to make up finacially and I dont think any new relationship fits very well into my schedule right now.
But Im certainly not going to walk around with blinders on either.


M 52
W 40
D 15 (step)
S 12 (step)
Married 7, together almost 8
Separated 1 year before bomb from her "I love you, I'm just..."
BD final 8/22/12

Re: Divorced-not done-But wondering ? [Re: JJAC2005] #2371084
07/26/13 02:17 PM
07/26/13 02:17 PM
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 562
Canada
W
whitneypinch Offline
Member
whitneypinch  Offline
Member
W
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 562
Canada
Yesterday my X and our 2 kids had breakfast together at a restaurant before dropping off our kids for the camp buses. Our kids go to summer camp for 4 weeks. We took photos of the kids and at one point my X asked someone to take a photo of all 4 of us together. This caught me so off guard. Why would we have a photo of all 4 of us together?

I texted the X last night to see if she was ok now that the kids have left for camp. I suggested to her that we could go and do something together sometime like a movie, walk, or motorcycle ride etc..
Nothing, she did not even respond to me.

This is what we deal with here !!!!


Me/W: 46/36
D7.6/S6
T/M: 7.5/6.5
Bomb 12/05/07
D final: 03/03/09



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