h's behavior is like that of a child - he is now doing all the things he had professed to dislike in the past he is 47 and spending time with a girl who just turned 24 - tells people it is just a fling (but he puts a lot of effort into this relationship so who knows) he had told my sister he wants to find someone age appropriate and doesnt' want to be "that guy" who goes out with much younger girls
the nature of my work is that i am on for 2 or 3 weeks and then have one or 2 weeks off - my hours are very long, so on the days that i am working (4 days out of the week) he has our son as soon as i am off he leaves for the west coast (where he is from and we spend alot of time) he stays there til the day i start work again and much of the time i am working he is on the road anyway, for his job he is a glorified babysitter at this point
so is leaving his son all the time, something he always said he would never do
he has issues to be sure his parents were married 8 times between them and him mother left his family when he was a toddler
he is fairly detached from most people and has always seemed to have a something missing when reading peoples emotions - just venting again on this morning i thought i was past most of this
It's seems like these MLCers do the things they always said they wouldn't do. So, one has to wonder if they really wanted to date young girls all along, for instance (a version of "methinks he doth protest too much" in saying his dislike of that activity). I do wonder why a 24 yo would be interested in a 47 yo man. Unless, it's because she's expecting to be taken care of. Grateful, older men can be stupid with young girls who would actually deign be seen with them. At 24, even a 30 yo man was too old for me.
Just have to say, the education system isn't any worse or better in Canada than the USA. I've lived in both countries, and in my experience they're pretty similar. Of course, there could be fluctuations across the very many regions throughout North America.
Yes, it is cold here ... in winter. We do have summers here.
Take care.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Grr, I am an oldtimer and remember when you first came here.
I see you are still struggling. I am so sorry.
I know that all of this is so very difficult to wrap your mind around. It goes against everything you think you knew.
The thing is that it is impossible for us to really understand because we are not in a Midlife Crisis, thank goodness.
They feel something is wrong. They cannot figure it out. And so, they lash out at the person closest to them, thinking, if I just get rid of them, then I'll be happy. And when that doesnt work, they try something else.
All with the hope of fixing what's wrong. It is not until or unless they look inside and realize it is them will they ever find peace.
Sometimes we get stuck on trying to understand. We feel if we can just understand we can fix it. But really, that isnt so.
This is a journey they were meant to go on. There is nothing anyone can do to rush it or fix it.
So, really, it is when we accept that we do not understand it, we did not cause it and there isnt anything we can do to change it that we find peace.
Grr, I know that you cannot fathom a father doing this to his child. But he has to justify it in his mind that it is going to be ok. He is too broken to be able to handle that its not right now.
The sooner you can accept what is for right now, the better for you.
Leave him to his path. You continue to walk yours.
Make a life for you and your son and show him how to navigate through life's turmoil with strength and courage.
Im sorry to hear that you are going through this and before i address your sitch, i am appalled by the callous response from CS , i believe. I dont ever want to berate any one hear but perhaps he should change his handle to BS instead as there seems to be more than his share being spewed on your thread. And as a Canadian , i can assure you that our education system is more than adequate, but i digress.
Im not sure what to advise you here. I would wager that the bald truth is evident. That your husband is making a huge mistake and trying to find fairy dust to sprinkle on his pathetic situation.
Hold your head high Grrrrr, you seem to be a class act .
Nine
BITS M-46 W-42 M-16y T-19 y s10 s15 BombDec.19/09 Sep-F16/10 Sep Papers signed by W- June 30/10 Recon July 5/10 PA foundOut- Oct 30/10 Mental HospNov/10 moved out Nov/10 Leg Sep Mar 15/11
I think the Canada thing was meant to be funny, eh? Us Americans don't got no good edumacation anyways
Grr, it so hard to be the only parent seeing that you kid is hurting. So hard!!
Urworthy thanks for your post. I could hear that over and over and it would not be enough
I really believe as many of us do that we could have helped them prevent this crisis. That if we had caught it earlier maybe we could have gotten them treatment and saved them. Oh yeah we are typical co dependents
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
