Hello all, I need some serious help. I found out my husband was having an affair when the other woman's mother called to tell me. Tell me about devestating. That was in April. I have been dealing with this since then, our children do not know, although I am sure they know something is up. He has said that he is not leaving me/us. ( our kids are almost adults, with the oldest being married, we held her wedding reception this summer), and he has said him and the other woman tried to break up a few times. I made a huge mistake saying I would be good with them being friends (assuming platonic not romantic), she move hundreds of miles away, but now he considers her his g/f and well me his wife at home. HUGE FREAKING MISTAKE! Since that happened back in Oct...I keep finding out things, like he was moving her to BC ( I live in Alberta), and now they made plans to go to Las Vegas next weekend.( my birthday is next thursday). Happy birthday to me...lol.I am so not good with this...I am almost to the point of walking away. Yet when I did tell him this...he reacted like...no you can't go! How am I supposed to deal with this..? I know what it is she wants...him, be his wife, have his children, even though he has told me and her he not marry again and does not want children.I feel like just when I think things are good...I find something else out that I was not aware of or wasn't want I percieved it to be and I am brought back to square one. I have working on the self improvement, weight loss ( lost almost 50 pounds in all of this), just feel sucked back in. I just want my life back with my husband, with no g/f on the side...anyone have any ideas? I don't want to lose him...but also can not live with her in my life. She is there constantly...I can't get away from it. I feel like no matter where I go, what I do, she is there, even in my own home. I feel trapped!
Believe none of what he says and half of what he does. Have NO EXPECTATIONS. Take care of yourself, breathe, eat, sleep, exercise. Most of us lose weight after BD.
You are on moderation right now on the forum. SO post in small frequent posts until you get off of it.
Your WH is giving you a GIFT. THE GIFT OF TIME.
USE it wisely.
Knowledge is Power - Francis Bacon
P.S. - You might get more replies if you post in Newcomers
If your husband is having an affair.. how would you be the Walk Away Wife? Someone having an affair.. has kind of already left you. Basically what you have allowed him to do is have his cake and eat it too. You will have to make the choice on whether you want to let it continue or not.
Go out and do things for yourself, have fun. Do things you haven't done in a long time that you enjoy.
M: 36/W: 28 T 11yrs / M 7yrs /1x 3yo D Sept: W Cheated w/ teen, BDrop. W Beast. Hated me. Oct: 18 (M license)W Asked for D Oct: 31 (Anniverary)W Paid Lawyer Nov1st: Both moved.
ok...am not sure what "GAL" means or "BD" or WH means..haha
Please pick up Divorce Remedy right away and read it, it's your road map for fixing yourself and maybe fixing the marriage in the process. Also look at the sticky at the top of newcomers (Sandi's 180 tips) and LIVE them.
GAL = get a life. You need to focus on yourself, get out and do things that make you happy and take your mind off your H.
BD = bomb drop. That's usually the day we find out our spouse is having an affair and/ or wants out of the M. Like Cadet said, it's common to lose a lot of weight after BD due to stress and depression. It's not a healthy way to lose weight.
