3 Years after D-Day, part 2. Separated 9 Months.

[Am I Too Late]

I'm trying to not get sucked back in emotionally.

Two nights ago, my Son asked me if i think Mommy will be getting in touch to see him soon. That triggers my parental instincts emotionally.

So, i still have not made any contact with her. I did go to her Moms grave site yesterday afternoon and said Prayers for her and my wife. My wife's vehicle was parked in the parking lot at the bar one block away that she has become a regular at, which would have been 1 1/2 hours right after her school bus route shift was done.

I then took my son to his cub scout pack meeting , followed by my home group AA meeting. My wife called during the middle of the meeting, but left no voice mail message. Since i knew she had been at a bar earlier, and left no message, it didn't warrant a return call.

She still needs to hit bottom with her drinking. Abandoning her only child doesn't seem to have made any long lasting effect. I can't fix her problems though. I'm not allowed to even try. I used to be and that still hurts.

AITL

[Am I Too Late]

I am concentrating more on myself and my son.

Yes, what i reveal here is where my thoughts still go, yet outwardly i am doing what i need to do. That's one major reason he and i are taking a trip to an indoor waterpark location for spring break vacation on the cheap. No, I'm not actually going to do that, but i felt it would be good for her and our son, as a family to establish a connection.

AITL

But my darned thoughts wanted to invite her to go with to have some time with our son and enjoy the week with no strings attached. I even woke up in a sort of nightmare at 5:00 am with that going through my mind. Sheesh!!! I've got to get rid of thinking about her.

[Am I Too Late]

Today is my 19th Anniversary of being sober and last night i was the guest speaker at an open AA/Alanon meeting.

I left my son with my brothers family so he could play with his cousins last night and today. I will join them for Easter dinner in a couple of hours.

I took my son to the Wisconsin Dells for a 5 day vacation with water parks, arcades, go karts, rope bridges, bumper cars, amusement rides, laser tag, miniature golf and any other fun stuff, along with relaxing in the hotels pool and hot tub. We both had a great time. And, it all only cost about $250.00 total due to discount coupons acquired from a radio shopping channel.

My Wife called last weekend on Saturday night while i had my cell phone turned off for an AA meeting, and left a nice voiced message. She sounded so friendly and in an almost little girls voice, which i think was her talking after drinking. I would not reply to a drinking message, regardless of how sweet she tried to sound.

She also left a message Monday night, matter of factly just stating that she would pick up our son on Thursday and return him either Friday night or Saturday morning, and added, "If You've Got A Problem With That, Let Me Know".

I didn't bother replying due to the Pizzed off tone. Also, i didn't want to ruin the good times me and my son were having, since we were already on our Spring Break vacation.

My son changed the wallpaper photo screen page on his Nexus Tablet from a picture of his Mom that she had placed there, to one of himself having fun. I don't know if i should read anything into that or not.

Oh well, back home and heading, out. To the Family Easter Dinner shortly, but i just wanted to bump this thread.

Oh, i kept her out of my thoughts for the most part while we were away, but, i did wake up to a nightmare this morning.

AITL

[Am I Too Late]

Well, today is my S-10's very last day as a 4th Grader. I'm so proud of how well he is doing. He should be collecting a free coupon to go to Six Flags Great America amusement park today for the reading contest they offer.

Yesterday, the sale and closing of my commercial property was completed and i caught up on my past delinquent property taxes for my rental property with the funds.

I didn't get enough to get my home out of foreclosure yet, but at least i have been focusing on some work projects getting sold and completed.

My sons cat that he and my W picked out 5 years ago passed away sometime overnight on this past Monday, which i discovered very early Tuesday morning. We have not been home until bed time every night this week, so my S has not noticed yet. That's going to be tough on him. He loved Pika, (Pikachu), very very much. I'm not sure if honesty about it's death, or thinking he wandered off and got adopted by a nice family would be better for him.

I did inform my W about it early Tuesday morning and she replied sympathetically, but that was the extent of the e-mail communication. She has not reached out as expected to inquire about seeing our S over this upcoming Memorial Day 3 day weekend. I only mention that out of facts and documentation, not that i am emotionally disappointed. I'm not now since i am getting better at not having ANY expectations of her.

Aside from me e-mailing her about the cat, along with sending her a birthday message on Sunday, i have had no contact with her since March 10th.

It has now been 95 days since her 1 hour visit with our S-10. Prior to that was a 22 day period since the last visit, so she has seen him for a total of 1 hour in the past 117 days.

I think we will take the 3 day weekend to visit my parents at their lake home in Wisconsin. Or, i will see if any estimates are available for me to do.

A far as the previous custody post, well i will take that to heart. Judges prefer to continue with the status quo for living arrangements. If a court awards her time with our S, then she "May" follow through or may not. I am done encouraging her to do so ever since her anxiety issues she proclaimed back in February, right after her and her current OM temporarily split up. That's fine with me.

I feel like i am improving and getting MY Life in order in bits and pieces, but i would like to ask a direct question.

How do you fellow DB Posters view me in your eyes?

Any suggestions on me getting my life back together any quicker?

Thank You.

AITL