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Joined: Dec 2006
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Sure you do! Let me give you a head start--I will follow up and use these too! Seriously.

Goal #1 - Block as much communication as possible/ practical. For me I would also block your childrens for the time being. Long enough to establish some normalcy for them without him constantly butting in and being jerky. Really even a week would be good to let everyone cool off and calm down.

Goal #2 - follow up with child support to be sure it is happening. Also- Check your state- mine has tough support laws- use those to your advantage.

Goal #3 - Do what you have to in order to ensure a safe environment for your children - change locks, consider restraining orders, whatever you need.

Goal #4 - Please be certain to talk to your kids' school and let them know the situation. If you get protection orders be absolutely certain they are aware of it to.

Goal #5 - KNOW you CAN absolutely do this!




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Fantastic list of goals!! All controlled by you, have no reliance on anyone else. Lisa and MKB23, when you accomplish this list I want both of you to recognize you are moving forwad with GAL. One key tool you have at your disposal is your spouses mind. In the same way his actions are controlling your thoughts and thus behaviors, your actions can do the same. I'm not saying either of you want your spouse to return, but you want to take control and you can!! You will be amazed what transpires when the balance of control shifts to you and away from your spouse.

Keep the goals in the fore front, recognize the accomplishments as the happen and keep moving forward. We are here to assist if you stumble.....2x4 ready.

Steve

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Almost forgot. Happy Thanksgiving!

This is a great excercise. If you can truely be thankful today and feel content on the inside with what you have, you are successfully letting go of the rope. Recognize it and believe it! It is 100% true!!

Steve

Joined: Aug 2008
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Hi Lisa -

A DB goal is what you want to Achieve, not the steps it takes to get there. You very often have to break those into smaller goals.

You determine the steps to try after deciding what you want.

Lisa - there is no judgment here. You deserve to be happy. If you decide you want to try to win him back, that's fine. If you decide you've had enough, that's fine. If you want something in-between, that's ok too. We are here to support you in what YOU want.

If he is behaving poorly, it is not a reflection on you. It doesn't mean you are doing anything wrong.



Happy Thanksgiving!


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