The only thing I'd comment on is to be sure that your resolve to move on from your X and into a new R, that you are fully committed to the new R. If your X were to want to come back, or some time down the road you start to wonder and pine and your X is available, well... I think you get the idea.
I have no doubt you know that. It is just the only thing that anyone who is starting to move towards new Rs would ever need to worry about, aside from how it might affect the kids or whether we are ready for a new R and don't take things slow.
Take any new R slowly. But commit to the new R, even though it's slowly. If you are half in and half out, and ready to bolt just because something "better" comes along, that is simply not fair to your new R, nor to yourself, and actually not even to the "something better".
Honestly, that's probably one of the biggest problems that causes D... aside from M, that is...
"I'm really into you... unless a better option comes along... oh, there she is now, my ex or some supermodel"
I need to work on myself more. My first introduction to the dating scene was a cruel one. I met this woman and things were going fine. Then her ex-boyfriend came back into the picture. My friends told me I was a rebound guy. My gut instinct tells me she likes the abuse her ex gives her. Well anyways its over and the nice guy finished last. I had so much to offer too. All I have to say is good luck with their R.
Fixer, When you least expect it, the right lady will come into your life. Sometimes, we have to "kiss a lot of toads" before the right one comes along. I'm sorry the relationship w/the lady didn't work out, but it's best that situation changed before you invested too much time into it.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
You are a wise person. I wish I didn't think this woman would of been the one for me. I was stupid, naive and foolish to believe we had something special. She has a good heart though. I will keep searching!
So my divorce will be here soon. I feel I tried. I've been dating and I don't mind being rejected. What I don't like is finding someone getting to know them and then breaking up. I miss so much the DBing I did with my wife. Though I feel she was deaf to what I said and blind to what I showed. I understand it all was ment for me and most of it is. Woman are fragile, strong and caring all into one. My wife was just strong. So I lost a battle for many years and whant to fight again. I want to find and love a woman who understands that she is fragile, strong caring and it's okay to be that way
I'm divorced. Been for a while now. Though I feel like I don't belong here, I don't feel like a failure - like I did in the past.
Once the D process was in the works, things moved quickly. My ex moved out and not far from where I live. What hurt the most was seeing my daughter and not spending much time with her. She's in her teens and for the first year of separation preferred to spend time with her mom. Mom wasn't there for her in the past but I was!
Because, of my DB'ing the stress of the D wasn't too overwhelming. With some Marriage counseling I was able to emotionally bounce back. I knew I had no control of the child support so I didn't let that bother me. I thought I was clever in allowing our daughter to spend overnights with me if she wished but that seemed to backfire. She rather spend her days cooped up in her room in a basement chatting on facebook and IM'ing friends.
The first year is the loneliest. Don't expect things to be the same with your children. In my case my teenage daughter chose to spend her time with her friends. That wonderful bond we had is still there but my time with her is at her connivence. Her mom uses our D to relay information back and forth and interrogates her after visits. I don't do this. I took a mandatory class as part of my D about helping children to cope, which as far as I know my ex has yet to take.
Because of the many many years of DB'ing I learned my W may have not ever loved me. I poured my heart into our R and DB'd my butt off. IMHO I was always there and that was something she needed at the time. I'm dating someone now. It's unfair to compare but the new woman in my life seems to really care for me and the feeling is mutual. Sometimes I say to myself my ex didn't do that for me. Sometimes the smallest gesture can go a long way. Sometimes Love is doing the smallest thing for someone you care for
