I still have no clue what's happening. No affairs, no insurmountable problems (to my mind anyway). It's all a bit mindblowing!
mab, I so understand this feeling because it mirrors my own experience.
When some people get to done,they are really done (at least for now). They don't have the desire to work on a R and I tend to think it's because they know they would have to figure out some of their stuff.
Then there are those fixer, co-d people like us who will hang on until the last dog is dead.
We can't make them want to be in a R with us. Apply for the job, live your life for you.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
What a weekend! Sailing was amazing, partying till the early hours and then well not to put too fine a point on it I met an amazing girl. We're meeting up again on Friday. It's all a bit scary actually. She's stunning, great fun and seems really keen on me. I told her my sitch (which was surprisingly c common on the boat) and she didn't bat an eyelid. Is it too soon? I certainly haven't been thinking about anything to do with my W over the last few days. Am just a bit worried that I may be letting myself in for more heartache, but it's been a long time since I've been this excited about anything.
Understandable. it's up to you in the end what you decide to do. You're enjoying being validated, paid attention to, etc. In the end, if you get into another relationship it's going to end up the exact same way as your M. Once the "honeymoon high" wears off and you're stuck with the day to day interactions.
If you want a new R, then file for D. End it clean.
How long were you M'd again?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
married just under 3 years, together for 7 before that. Am also worried about the honeymoon period effect and not having learnt from my mistakes. As for D, it just hasn't entered my head since Friday and its a bit of a relief if I'm honest.
What a bizarre evening! Friend posts on Facebook she's going for drinks for her birthday so I decided to pop in for a drink. I sit down for a beer and notice there's loads of guys from my and W's old department there. Then she turned up looking really glamorous. Comes over and chats away to me and we're getting on fine, although she was complaining about stuff she can't deal with that i always sorted...then some mutual friends come in and join us. It's just like old times. Meanwhile, I'm going on a date tomorrow, she still hasn't told me where she lives. Then she starts talking work to our mutual friendsand I decided I've had enough and went back to my friends. So she's sat at the table next to me and we're both enjoying ourselves separated by 6 feet. Her group then got up and she waved me a cheery goodbye. Totally unreal. Still married, joint account and mortgage still in place. Together yet not. And I have no idea what I feel about it!
Date went brilliantly, had a fantastic evening and have arranged to see her on Friday. Meanwhile, it was our wedding anniversary yesterday. I received a phone call from her about house insurance which I had paid. She then rang me back to say she needed proof of payment to send to them. I sent it to her and then later in the evening she rang back to say she had emailed them and then broke down in tears because of the anniversary, she hoped I was OK and I could call her back if not. I didn't know what to do. Here I am thinking it's all over bar the paperwork and then BAM. Now I feel bad because I've started dating again. I don't want to upset new girl because I really like her but it's still very early days. No idea where it's going. I felt terrible when I heard how upset W was but it was her choice and she's refused to even let me know where she lives let alone entertained counselling. I didn't contact her and now I'm feeling guilty because I feel at fault. Very confused...
Do you think I should get in contact over the weekend? If only to discuss the house insurance stuff (which is actually for where I'm living) or just wait for her?
Do you think I should get in contact over the weekend? If only to discuss the house insurance stuff (which is actually for where I'm living) or just wait for her?
