Yeah, you've got to knock that smoking, Oxford! That's not going to take you anywhere good.
How would W react if you told her that this separation is working for you? If you told her that initially you were upset about it, but now you're enjoying your independence, how would she feel about that?
Accuray
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
I was thinking about that yesterday and in a funny way I am starting to enjoy it. I was questioning why I want to reconcile because there were bad parts. She could be extremely moody, intolerant and irritable and I was constantly worrying about upsetting her. The last two days I've been able to do something in the evening and then pop back to work to sort an experiment no questions asked. I can eat what I want, when I want no worrying about how much oil is in it. She once went absolutely mental at me for using 1 tbsp of oil instead of 1/2. A lot of women would be happy their husbands helped with the cooking and I got shouted at! Then my self esteem issue kicks in and says well she's probably having an even better time than you and doesn't want to come back. Which does fit the current state quite well unfortunately. I just get that under control and then I remember the good times and how great it was and think if we could get past this and start again it could be even better. How would she react to my enjoying life? I have no idea. Happy? Concerned? Uninterested? I don't know. She is very different towards me and life in general now. This is a woman who hated bananas with a passion, hated the smell, taste, texture, everything. A month before bomb drop she forced herself to start eating them. This is a woman who chose Mozart's requiem, a piece written to commemorate the death of a spouse, for our wedding because she didn't know what it was but it sounded nice. She now goes to at least two classical concerts a week and constantly has classic fm on the radio. It's like she's decided that everything before now was wrong and with the help of her therapist she's rewriting her entire life. It's why I think there's a strong mlc element to this. It's also one of the main reasons why I have serious doubts that this can be overcome.
How about looking at it this way? Sometimes people do become unhappy with their lives and decide to make changes. It can happen to anyone, anytime.
If she can do it, so can you. Don't worry so much about how happy she may be, you can't know that. Even if she tells you she's happy, you won't know for sure.
Yours is the only happiness you can control.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
Wow, I just found a job advert that could have been written for me for a position in Vancouver, a place I'be always wanted to live since I went there 8 years ago. Seems too soon to apply for things like that but maybe there was something to that horoscope after all!
Is it giving up if I apply? Should I apply? It seems almost ultimatum like. She knows I've always wanted to go and I've no real reason to stay here without her except that it's comfortable.
So she changed her taste and music. Big deal. Nothing wrong with that. And whose to say the next person you go out with isn't going to have issues with something else that you do? The thing is that there's never going to be one person who is completely happy with everything you do and you wouldn't want that anyway in a relationship.
Go ahead and apply. There's no harm in applying.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
I think you should apply too. If you get it and feel good about it then you know it was meant to be. If you don't, you don't and you move on to something else.
Me: 32 H: 32 M 9 yrs #1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2 Bomb 8/12/11 H moved out 8/14/11 PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12 Got my own place 8/25/12 H & OW move in together 9/15/12 Still married.
I'm going to apply when I get back from sailing. Have had to put together something for work this morning so have been looking back through emails to find stuff.
Saw emails from 3 months ago from W. All perfectly normal, signed with xxx. Bang, here and now we're living in seperate houses, I'm applying for jobs on the other side of the pond and I still have no clue what's happening. No affairs, no insurmountable problems (to my mind anyway). It's all a bit mindblowing!
