Ex's Are Like a Virus...They Never Really Go Away!

[FLTC]

Weelllllllll.....it's been a very long time since I posted here. As you may recall, Donald Trumps' divorce took less time than mine due to an XW who held out for every dime...no... penny she could get.

Most of you (although not all, wii, Sun!)don't remember me or the darkest days of my life back in 05-06 when I thought I wouldn't survive a divorce, much less survive at all. Well, 6 years later, a year in Iraq and a great new wife, who would believe it! There IS hope for everyone, so don't lose hope.

You may recall that my XW is vindictive and still wants to control me, even though she's been with her boss for 5 years now. She's 52, he's 65 (?) Oh well... she drives his deceased wife's BMW with her vanity license plate everywhere. She died of cancer when they were carrying on. No shame.

Anyhow, her acting out is a huge point of contention with my current wife. I'm between not wanting to tell her anything and let her know everything, but this just angers her.

Check my posts from 2006-2008 if you want to see the textbook psycho ex spouse. The latest is this.

My S14 is with me on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I hired a college girl to shuffle him around and care for him while I'm at work. She picks him up at XWs house and takes him wherever he wants to go, after he checks with me.

When he is with XW on Mondays, she lets him stay in her house all day, unsupervised, watching TV. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, she locks him out of the house at 8AM, so she can go to work, and told him she's locking him out so "he won't have friends in the house for a party". The college girl picks him up at 9AM, so he's essentially locked out for an hour.

This is ALL about me and being spiteful. I called Child Protective Services today, and the woman told me that although it was weird, I was probably responsible for him. (I drive him to her house on the nights he's with me. She goes to work in the other direction, so she feels she's immune from dropping him at my house) I talked with a good friend who is a high-ranking police officer. He suggested I go to the town where XW lives and talk to the police there as "even tenants who don't pay rent can't be locked out"

Meanwhile my new wife is doing a "slow burn" because she feels XW is controlling our new life. XW does NOT care how she looks to anyone.

My XW has this need to both hate me and conjure up ways to communicate with me. Ugh.....

[ClingingToHope]

My XW has long been for leaving D13 home alone so she didn't have to go through the effort of finding things for her to do or people for her to hang out with.

She tells D13 that I don't trust her. I tell D13 that I'm just trying to keep her active.

Really, I don't have your issues, but I look at them and wonder how much of that I'll eventually face.

[kat727]

I don't envy your next four years! Isn't there a way you can get custody? Locking your own child out of their own home on purpose is certainly psycho.

Glad things are going well with your new wife. Your ex wife can't stand that you are happy, I am guessing that she really is not but she stays for the toys and money. Some people just don't get it.

Keep being a good role model for your kids. As they wander out onto their own, I am sure they will most likely wander to you.

kat

[whatisis]

It's so true, FLTC. People think that if they get a divorce then that person is out of their life forever...WRONG! So stressful for you to have to deal with this idiot woman but it is what is is. Hang in there, you've made it this far and you'll make it the rest of the way too

[figgeroni]

our child protective services here say that if you have shared custody they should have a key to their house so they can get it as it is illegal to lock you house on a child under the age of 18

[luvless]

LOL this topic made me laugh....so true!

[sleeper]

Glad things are going well with your new wife. Your ex wife can't stand that you are happy, I am guessing that she really is not but she stays for the toys and money. Some people just don't get it.

Yuuuuup! X found out I proposed to my significant other. She called to tell me she had "talked to an attorney" and will be taking full custody of our kids.

I can't decide whether to get mad or laugh.

[sleeper]

I'm torn between starting a new thread and posting on this one which bears a tittle to which I am perfectly drawn....

X served notice she wiil be taking custody of our children immediately after she learned I am engaged.

I met with X upon the next convient occasion, thought all was well.

Today X was shocked (as was myself) to learn we had very different impressions of our last discussion ( re: children). She thought, of course, that she would be taking basically full custody of our kids. I informed her that was not my understanding. She turned to DS and asked what he thought the new arangement would be. He hesitated and replied, "Im confused, I guess I thought I would be living with you.". To which I quickly added, "Because that's what you mother said would be happening?" and he nodded, "Yes".

Later today X says, "I love you". I scoweled and asked, "Huh?.... Why?" She responded, "Cause you brought my kids to me."

I think the poor thing is crazy. I think she's trying to control everything.I think she operates on emotion and impulse. I think it may become very ugly when
she get what she wants....

I spent the day with DS, allowed DD to be with X before concert tonight. DS asked, "Dad, what if you came to get us and mom had a gun and wouldn't let us leave?"

This is the same kid who once remarked, "Mom's a little crazy."

"Out of the mouths of babes...."

[kml]

Wow - that's a REALLY scary comment. Did you ask him why he thought of that?

[sleeper]

Yes I did. He responded, "I don't know, it just popped into my head."

Many concerns for what he might be thinking and feeling quickly ran through my own mind and I immediately attempted to calm and reassure him. I told him I would just leave and call the police and I would never let anyone keep us apart. There is some obvious underlying tension but I thing DS may have been testing my commitment to him and how far I would go to see him or would I just give up and let her have him.

It's really kinda wierd now. When we spoke earlier in the day she became curt but remained cordial (we were in her place of business) and she said we would have to straighten this out today when she got off work. But when she did get off and I took DS to her for concert (DD stayed at work with her), she was all nice, didn't mention it and said, "I love you." Wazzup with that?!? Could it be......
A) Bipolar disorder
B) Someone at work pointed out how good she's got it
C) Multiple Personality Disorder
D) Im hallucinating
E) All of the above


I'm not sure if she's trying different angles (sweetness/fury) looking for the one that might cause me to cave in to her or if there's something else going on in her head. This thing has already run the gambit from her sternly threatening legal action, to a look of resignation when I pointed out the kids are almost old enough to decide for themselves in our state to DS broachin the possibility of gun violence to "I love you."

Fiancé has altered her assessment of the sitch from her original belief of jealousy on Xs part (oh the first time I saw X after engagement she requested to see a pic of the engagement ring) to X resisting losing her position of a hyper cake eater. Fiancé sees it line this: X gets to sleep and live with OMH but kept me as father of her children/childcare provider on demand. Example (and irony): In the midst of wanting kids to live with her she and OMH are going out of the country next week (her week to have kids). She informed me today she will have a housesitter and the kids can stay with sitter or I can take them. I have always taken my kids when such occasions arise as I (and kids) would rather we be together than them with a sitter.

I really need to focus on "WHAT" and stop wasting time trying to figure out "WHY?"