Need HOPE part III

[MrBond]

You think you're finally seeing "clearly" but you're not. She's acting the same way like the usual WAS, but you are letting your hurt feelings interfere with your judgement.

"Her parents , uncles, maternal grandmother & great grandmother were mentally ill."

You're not a psychiatrist. You have no right to judge people like that. Stick to just your W. You're no better than anyone else.

"I've had enough of her flaunting her OM around ... It is embarrassing for the children & to me."

Only because you make a big deal about it from your hurt feelings. She moved on. That's life. Deal with it.

"She has been callous and mean during every interaction in the last few weeks"

Maybe, but that's typical WAS behavior. Some WAS's even go so far as to throw the LBS in jail. Yours has never done anything so extreme. She just chose another man over you because you didn't meet her needs originally.

"It isn't healthy to continue to yearn for a dead relationship"

Yes

"if she has feelings or regrets someday, then that will be her loss."

From what I've seen you haven't changed much. So why would she consider you the "better" option? Just pointing out what I see. Not to be harsh. But she's not going to go back to you just because it's the "right thing to do".

"She is tainted and dirty and I wouldn't trust her again."

Despite what you might think, you CANNOT keep this line of thinking because it is bad for your kids. YOU have to be the higher one here.

"Maybe the meds have allowed me to detach finally and look at this whe sitch objectively"

Not even. It's just made you bitter and angerier.

"She is a bad person and a bad mother"

This you can definitely not say. She chose another person over you but it doesn't make her a bad mother. Yes it's selfish, but if you don't want your kids to grow up messed up, you would be wise to stop calling her that.

"We are probably better off without her."

Definitely not the right way to think.

[PERSEVERANCE]

She wants to move on, I'm just going to give her what she wants. Friends family neighbors, everyone can see that she is wrong and I can't keep my life on hold waiting for someone who doesn't care about me
I can't be with someone who lacks integrity and basic morals

[MrBond]

To be honest that's why you haven't been successful. I know it [censored] but to a certain degree you have to understand why she was doing things from her point of view. You don't have to agree with it, but it's understandable how she got there.

And if you don't change and continue to bash your W in front of your kids and agree with them in not seeing her, etc. then YOU're the bad father here.

It's your job to be the better man.