Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 7 of 8 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 113
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 113
Originally Posted By: MrBond
First of all, you're D.

Second, the reason why you're in this same situation is that you haven't detached and changed yourself for the better. You still have low self-esteem problems and depend on your XW for happiness.

Move on. That's the only way you have a shot at getting your W back.


Bond,
do you think that moving on means meeting women, having sex or just flirting.

Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
Moving on means moving on.

If you're D you can pretty much do whatever you want. Although I'd hold off on the dating until you get your self-esteem back.

The main thing is that you have to get your "swagger" back. You get back to being your old self before you relied on your W.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 2,257
D
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 2,257
Originally Posted By: MrBond
Moving on means moving on.

If you're D you can pretty much do whatever you want. Although I'd hold off on the dating until you get your self-esteem back.

The main thing is that you have to get your "swagger" back. You get back to being your old self before you relied on your W.


It's amazing how much comes back after one positive encounter. You realize it's very normal stuff.

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 172
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 172
Ive spent nearly half of my life with her.Well, I guess I'm a db failure. Gal'ing, friends, family, therapy, meds, - nothing dulled the pain. The D is final. There is
OM too. Strange... I hate her now, but still love her and wish our family was together. Regrets and sadness still eat away at my soul... Tried to fake it, staying positive-- but detachment seemed impossible.
She is gone- I feel lost. I made such progress but the jealousy caused backsliding-- she flaunted the om purposely like a cold calloused monster.
What now- the future seems so desolate. I'm trying to move in... I feel like I'm dead inside, but the pain reminds me that I'm still here. Maybe someday she'll regret being such a whore and destroying our family.


(F.K.A. Broken422)

US 40's
M 17,T 19
2 BOYS 13,16
Divorced 4/2012
11/2011 W SAID SHE WANTS D

"When it is dark enough,you can see the stars"- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 113
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 113
Do you remember the movie Forrest Gump?

Forrest loved Jenny so much. She was confused young woman, tried drugs, many male partners and he never stopped loving her.
He was a war hero and a very good runner, as you are smile

She was coming back to him many times and he always accepted her.

Watch the movie again in this difficult moment.
I am going to download it this evening and will offer my ex to watch it together smile

Do you remember Count Monte Christo - betrayed by his friend and his fiancee. He lost everything. And he won them back after 17 years. smile

Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 113
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 113
Those movies will give you hope smile

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 172
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 172
Then Jenny died of AIDS...
Maybe the movie will lift my spirits:-)


(F.K.A. Broken422)

US 40's
M 17,T 19
2 BOYS 13,16
Divorced 4/2012
11/2011 W SAID SHE WANTS D

"When it is dark enough,you can see the stars"- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 172
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 172
I'm officially finished. Anyone capable of intentionally hurting me like my x doesn't deserve my love. She has actually disgusted me & our children beyond measurement. I've lost respect for her.... It isn't possible to truly love someone that you don't respect. I sold my ring, took down most of the photos, threw away cards and letters. all done- its a relief... now i'll move on. honestly, i wouldn't take her back if she begged. I have seen the light-Perhaps she was more of an unhealthy addiction the last couple of years. The Boys told me that they don't want her to come home... That I'm a better Mom & Dad -- it's nice to be validated, but sad that it is coming from the children. She is mentally ill & can't see it.... Family , friends & neighbors... We all see it. She is a monster now - a shell of the woman I married 17 yrs ago. Reduced to a selfish shallow gutter whore.
So- my job now is to try to get the divorce decree amended... The kids are will tell a judge, lawyers the same thing.... They want to remain in our home with me... She can visit & I'll offer her a buy-out of the equity.
There are millions of women who would appreciate me. Additionally- I've learned from past / I won't repeat the same mistakes with communication .


(F.K.A. Broken422)

US 40's
M 17,T 19
2 BOYS 13,16
Divorced 4/2012
11/2011 W SAID SHE WANTS D

"When it is dark enough,you can see the stars"- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
That was quick. what happened?

Why do you say she's mentally ill? From what I've read she's acting like a typical WAS. Doesn't make her crazy.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 172
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 172
Her parents , uncles, maternal grandmother & great grandmother were mentally ill. I've had enough of her flaunting her OM around ... It is embarrassing for the children & to me. She has been callous and mean during every interaction in the last few weeks.... I'm walking away. It isn't healthy to continue to yearn for a dead relationship --- if she has feelings or regrets someday, then that will be her loss.
When I look at her, I can't imagine holding her in my arms again... She is tainted and dirty and I wouldn't trust her again.
Maybe the meds have allowed me to detach finally and look at this whe sitch objectively and not emotionally.
She is a bad person and a bad mother... We are probably better off without her.


(F.K.A. Broken422)

US 40's
M 17,T 19
2 BOYS 13,16
Divorced 4/2012
11/2011 W SAID SHE WANTS D

"When it is dark enough,you can see the stars"- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Page 7 of 8 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Moderated by  Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard