Me: 30 W: 28 T 8, M 6 S: 7-27-2007 W filed (again) 3-2011 Served 8-2011 Responded, now dark "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK
Hey peeps, it's been quite awhile since I last checked in. Sorry to have kept some of you in suspense. I promise to add more details as needed, as well as to answer some of your questions later on, but long story short: I'm having a blast with our son; so much more time to be relaxed and to do more things with him!
I'm also on Day 434 of being masturbation-free. I wish I knew exactly how much longer I've been porn-free (definitely more than two years), but what counts is that I'm still staying strong and focusing on myself and our son.
Great stuff Alamo? So I assume your W went ahead with the move? What's the D status?
Me: 30 W: 28 T 8, M 6 S: 7-27-2007 W filed (again) 3-2011 Served 8-2011 Responded, now dark "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK
Hey Jon...yes, my wife did decide to leave and pursue her career. Another huge revelation came the day after the hearing and on the day she left (July 4th) when one of my wife's med school friends (whom I know from before the separation and who also attended the court hearings with my wife) contacted me about setting up a play date with their son and ours.
So I went to their home about a week later and they basically spilled the beans. They (along with another of my wife's best friends) felt that they don't recognize who my wife has become since the separation two years ago, that they didn't agree with what she was doing to our son and to the situation. They also expressed that her parents were a BIG factor in how she has changed and behaved and they also felt that our son was better off with me. During this meeting, we expressed sadness, regret and hope over the entire situation. Her friends think that my wife is running away from the issues here and is refusing to deal with it the right way.
I was basically shocked by all this, especially nullifying my assumptions about her friends and her options in her medical career.
Me: 30 W: 28 T 8, M 6 S: 7-27-2007 W filed (again) 3-2011 Served 8-2011 Responded, now dark "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK
Today our son turns four years old! Where has all the time gone? Wow!
I threw him a proper party this past Saturday; lots of our close friends (and some new ones, as well) came and made it an awesome celebration for our son. Lots of presents, party favors for children and adults alike, rib eye steaks, ribs, wine, amazing cake...it was beyond great!
Me: 30 W: 28 T 8, M 6 S: 7-27-2007 W filed (again) 3-2011 Served 8-2011 Responded, now dark "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK
Checking in to say hi and to see how everybody's doing with their DB/DR journey. I'm currently in a very good place and am writing a new chapter in my life.
It's my sincere hope that all of you here find peace, joy and comfort. The going is tough - initially, especially - but it gets smoother and better as times goes by. Stay strong, friends! God bless your decisions, convictions and your time.
Hey Mr. Bond! Thank you for dropping in. I miss the support and energy here.
Completely loving and enjoying my time with our son over the past month and a half. He's happy and growing (physically and intellectually) way too fast for his age. He and mom Skype in the evening on weekdays, and he's (sadly) getting used to that norm. Even though my wife and I hardly ever communicate any more, when she does, it gets harsh or at the very least, laced with negative undertones towards me. In one of her texts to me, she made it obvious that she can't believe the court really granted me custody of our son, that the judge granted a pedophile safety.
That said, I've been meditating, praying and getting in-tune with myself and have made the decision to move on with my life. This decision hasn't come easily (I've talked to my family, preacher, friends, God), but after everything that has happened - especially over the past few months - I've requested my lawyers proceed with a bifurcation process. I feel like two years (0.5 years of mourning, 1.5 years of self-improvement/DBing/DRing) has brought me emotional and mental peace, confidence and strength, and I realize that it's time to cut the cord, at least from a legal standpoint.
Of course, I will keep DB/DRing. Yes, it was designed to possibly save marriages, but it, among others, also made (IMHO) a vastly better person out of me with 180s, GALs and so on.
