Hi Alamo: Just checking up see how's it going. Just read your older thread. Sorry to hear about the recent developments.
Yea i think it would not be good for you to be alone with your W at this point. It is sad, but necessary.
There comes a point where each one of us stares at a mirror to truly see what we have become. What our fears, hatred and vindictiveness have turned us into. All you have now is time. Use it to become a stronger man. A better man.
BITS M 38 W 36 D 7 Married 15 yrs W left for 6 months in 2009 W Filed for D 01/03/11 piecing now...
Alamo, it has taken strength of will and faith for you to get this far. You can go the distance. Reflect back and see how far you’ve come and what it took to get here. You did not do it alone. You are not alone now. Along the way you’ve relied on others to point a direction to chart a course. Do this again.
Yes this s()cks, and it is difficult. Now is the time to be savvy, to be cagey, and to show judgment and decisions, to maintain a calm confident demeanor while you permit your lawyer to be your champion.
She hasn’t seen much of this Alamo. She attacks when she should stand by and evaulate. Use your faith as a shield, your lawyer as a tool. As she is the only one feeding energy into the drama permit her to exhaust herself. You have strong testimonials and character witnesses. She has memories of the old Alamo and accusations with no current substance.
Be strong, show your strength calmly and composed.
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
Me: 30 W: 28 T 8, M 6 S: 7-27-2007 W filed (again) 3-2011 Served 8-2011 Responded, now dark "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK
mykarma, Bond, Valeska, JustStunned, jon - First of all, thank you folks for your support. I know you don't know me in person, therefore have a harder time truly judging/determining if I am who my wife says I am. I'm making it a point to keep an even keel (something I've been actively doing for the past 2-3 months, especially) through all this.
My lawyer filed for an ex parte yesterday to request temporary visitation orders. The court has requested us to go in for an emergency hearing tomorrow (Wed.) afternoon.
Just awhile ago, I received a copy of my wife's response to that ex parte and in it she included more details of what she believes of my sexually abusing of our son. One part that's tearing me hole in my heart is when states a few things our son actually "said" to my wife, e.g. "mommy sometimes daddy touches my p**** in his room and I don't like that, can you tell him to stop that", or "mommy sometimes daddy touches my butt too in my room and it hurts so can you tell him to stop that too", etc.
How is this possible? Are these her projected words into him, or is our son actually saying these to her?
I guess I'll find out more tomorrow. Keep ALL of us in your prayers for this hearing.
Personally it seems like your W's accusations of you have been escalating. I mean first it was your past, then she threatened you if you didn't play ball and then suddenly this. Try not to be too fearful of this. She is really scraping the bottom of the barrel to get what she wants. It's so obvious I'm surprised its taken so long for you to see your son.
She wants to leave and she sees you as an obstacle. You stand strong and be the man your son needs you to be. Even in spirit.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
listen to me carefully. I don't mean to sound harsh but this is EXACTLY what I feared she would do and exactly what she was hinting at before.
Your son did NOT say those things OR If he did, it was only after her presistent prompting. He probably would not withstand a good cross exam BUT many CPS workers assume abuse and are suggestive in their interviewing.
Ever hear of the McMartin case? There, they JAILED day care workers for a long time before some smart defense attorneys ON APPEAL
showed how improbable and or impossible it was for the kids to be telling the truth. The CPS workers used anatomically correct dolls and when the kids focussed on the genitalia, as any normal kid who had not seen it on a doll before would
they used THAT as evidence of "actual abuse"...
I did criminal defense work and defended over 70 men accused of sexual abuse of children, and over 200 other defendants. I specialized in cross examining children as witnesses.
Though most of my guys had done something odd or wrong, ALL of the men I defended whom I truly believe to be innocent were accused of nearly exactly what your wife claims your son said.
Until you are in jail, she won't drop this unless you cave in and give up your son
UNLESS YOU FIGHT FOR HIM LIKE YOU SHOULD...AND UNLESS/UNTIL SHE RISKS SOMETHING...like being found guilty of parental alienation and abusing your son by emotionally ruining the r you have with him, and more...(OMG I could go on about that...)
1) do NOT have ANY visitations with your son
unless you bring a neutral witness NOT JUST YOUR WIFE--
ALamo---she is a liar and you being around her and son CANNOT HELP YOU or the cause. '
IF ANY of my kids ever said something weird "that daddy said/did" the first person I'd call would be HIM to ask what the kids meant. AND I DID criminal law so I'm jaded yet I know enough to know that kids say weird things all the time. First thing we do is ask the other parent what happened!
That's what NORMAL women do. They don't immediately go to the cops.
(Unless they want full custody and trust me, now that she has said this she won't retract in a way that lets you see him unsupervised, EVER....
OR until your Lawyers get her to back down BIG TIME...not a compromise Alamo, this was a nuclear weapon she has now armed and is aiming at you....
do you see this now?
2) I am very sorry but IMO, your marriage is, for all intents and purposes, over.
Your wife wants it all and that means erasing/destroying you.
3) you must assert yourself or you could lose everything and I do NOT just mean your son.
Your career, your ability to stay in this country (if you are not yet a citizen) and your professional certaifications may all be in jeopardy. You may not be employable again and you can suffer ALL These consequences without a conviction of a crime but merely a "substantiated allegation" which means a social worker can ruin you...
or the mere fact that a police report was filed with this, can also do serious damage to you...
4) this does not matter to your wife, even if she thought you'd never pay support b/c she never expected money from you anyhow so there's no "dinner plate" to break or worry about. Do you know what I'm saying here?
I do not suggest you give in to this extortionary evil.
You've been her whipping boy too long.
I cannot see ANY reason to move to SC now, b/c the cat is out of the bag.
True, As Val said, IF she had suspected this abuse to be true, why let you care for him so long?
HER ANSWER WILL BE THAT SON JUST TOLD HER THESE THINGS RECENTLY....
Though she's not the first wife in a custody battle to wave this flag -we can only hope the judge sees thru this. That is my prayer. BUT ALAMO, I have 2 clients in jail for crimes I don't think they committed. I may never know if they were truly innocent - but I think they were and
That haunts me to this day... so YES it happens.
5) you are at WAR now
and YOU MUST act accordingly.
She has armed the nukes now and will launch them at you
so defend yourself. Don't be a fool--
(sorry if that sounds harsh but you have got to WAKE UP)
IF you do anything now without a Lawyer advising you, you do so at your peril & your son's.
You may have legal leverage by questioning your w's motives, mental health snd her deliberate attempt to hurt the relationship you have with son (parental alienation!!) Women who toss out these charges also take a risk and that MUST be made clear to her.
It's your lawyer's job to make sure SHE gets that. So make sure your Lawyer handles this like you would a vampire.
MEANING---You don't stop and rest until you have put the stake thru the heart.
NO MORE LIES about you from w and no more lies about son or about you to son, this is BIG TIME PARENTAL ALIENATION that she is doing
all so she can move??!!!
UNBELIEVABLE---BUT SADLY---NOT RARE! THIS HAPPENS!
SO
are you awake now? Please say "YES!"
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
25, I'm quite certain that my wife truly believes she heard our son say those things, be they provoked or not. Anger, distrust and resentment can greatly cloud one's judgement, after all.
In fact, she just sent me this email no more than an hour ago. Not sure why she reached out to me like this:
"Hi Alamo,
I hope you know, if you know nothing else about me, that I wouldn't lie about something like this. I mean, I don't lie in general. But above all else I wouldn't lie about something that would hurt our son. I did the only thing I could think to do to protect E, knowing full well it could look awful for me.
Wife"
Regarding CPS and our son: I was glad to find out that our judge was well aware of the credibility of that (he's been in criminal law for 20-years too and a pretty smart cookie) and yesterday ordered an independent child psychologist to work with our son (poor little fella). So I hope and pray the psychologist knows her stuff, because I'm aware of all the different methodologies of interview children and how they may affect outcome of the interviews.
We also both agreed that until the next big hearing on the 20th, I will be able to have supervised visits with our son with our preacher and/or his wife as chaperones.
In my behavior through this whole craziness, I may come across as docile to some of you, but I'm letting my lawyer fight my battles. I do my homework and let her run with it. Thankfully, she's both pro-marriage and has been my advocate since I had her from the beginning, while at the same time she's properly aggressive in court as well. In fact, I'd become so used to seeing her calm and mellow side in an office setting that after I saw her in action in court, I asked her if other counselors have a nickname for her, like tiger or viper or something.
Is my marriage dead? Oh yes. I acknowledge that quite a long time ago. But, even though I expected her to thrown everything under the sun at me, those below-the-belt punches do sting. But I have strength, peace and patience from my Lord, and that works for me!
