-H filed for D just about 2 weeks ago and is trying to get me served but I'm pushing it off until I get my L in place.
-The day after his L filed for D he asked me if I wanted to take a daytrip to the beach. He continues to think that "we" can/will do things together. He hopes to be best buds after D - after all, I do know him best! (his words) He even folded my laundry as recently as last week and continues to invite me to things.
-Around bomb time H admitted our M had been improving and was "comfortable" (as if that's a bad thing). He believed my "changes" were only in response to him saying that he'd thought of ending the M. (He thinks this parallels a time in our far past where he brought up the idea of moving out but then we worked on things to improve our R.) He wants D super fast because he thinks that even though things were good and comfortable recently, they won't be in the future because now there's a pattern.
-We had a great vacation after he dropped the bomb, before he filed. He was visibly surprised when I didn't act in a way that he expected me to, and said so. He later thanked me for trying so hard to make things seem "normal" on the trip. (I wasn't trying THAT hard, it just WAS!)
-Shortly after that he offered on his own to make my favorite dinner, and made it well.
-Since D was filed I have been cooling off. I'm very busy and vague these days, I never know what my schedule is or when I'll be around!
-He notices when I wear something new and asks about it. Sometimes I'll admit it's new, sometimes I don't.
-He's turned into Mr. Clean in the kitchen since I have backed off of obsessively cleaning it all the time.
-He still emails me or tells me about articles in my areas of interest or funny things during the day while I'm at work or during dinner.
-We're still living together but he wants to sell the house ASAP. Unless he has a drastic change of heart in the next month I'm not sure I see a way around this. BUT I will wait to see what a realtor has to say before getting all about it.
-I've read DB, DR, 5LL, HTIYMWTAI, The Passion Trap, and am in the middle of Codependent No More. I recommend all of them.
My last posts, combined/condensed - feedback welcome!
1. I haven't been able to get too far back into the archives, but are there any success threads dealing with WAHs? I feel like all of the recent ones were men dealing with WAWs.
2. When I try to be vague about where I'm doing/going, H usually asks a follow up, and then I end up saying what I am doing/where I went/whatever. I don't want to come across as a jerk and I'm not volunteering any info upfront. Should I be more vague?
Yesterday I had to leave for the L appointment. H was surprised and asked if I was going into work (Was working from home). I didn't answer his question and just said I'd be back later and left. When I got back, H said "welcome back!"
Yesterday I had to leave for the L appointment. H was surprised and asked if I was going into work (Was working from home). I didn't answer his question and just said I'd be back later and left. When I got back, H said "welcome back!"
HA!!!! This is great! what was his tone like?
ps I love your new title! I am also getting a lot out of Co-N-M. I find that I have to read some, put it down and just think about it for a few days.
My IC told me that Self Esteem is something you have to work on and monitor throughout your lifetime I think CoD is the same. It's like your health something you have to look after and monitor and do a little work now and then.
Bug, thanks for the recommendation. I appreciate your honesty about the work required to deal with codependency and understand the gravity of it.
I have enjoyed MB's writing style so I am planning to pick up her other books but had to put a stop to buying so many things at once because I have a tendency to buy a lot of books at once and then not get through all of them for a long time! I have been going to the gym so much this week that I haven't had much time left for reading in the evenings. I'm going to try to finish CNM this weekend and then see what's next.
Haha Brit, thanks. His tone was like casual neighbor friendly, I guess? Not enthusiastic but not negative.
I agree that self-esteem and coD will require a lifetime of monitoring.
Last night we didn't have really any interaction. I came home from work late, he was already out for the evening with his grandfather. I came home, ate dinner, and went to the gym. By the time I got back (fairly late), he was home and said hello (from the 2nd floor) when I got in. I got in the shower and as I was in the bathroom I think he walked by and said "good night" but it was hard to hear beacuse I had the fan on and some days I feel like I'm hearing voices (in a totally non-crazy way ;)).
This morning I got up for work a little early (mixing up the routine a little). Weirdly, he ALSO got up earlier so we ended up passing through the kitchen at the same time as usual. As I left I said "have a nice day" and he replied in kind.
No contact from him today; by this time yesterday I already had about 4 emails. I'm listening to music and having a little dance party at my desk trying to figure out what I'm going to do for GAL this weekend (other than the gym!). Going out for happy hour tonight (atypical for me), wearing a nice outfit and what H called my "hot shoes."
Wrote too soon... just got an email forward and noticed a few tweets designed to pique my interest.
I emailed my L earlier to get my representation set.
I'm wondering if I should take down the wedding pictures this weekend or wait until a realtor looks at the house and says they need to be removed for staging....
I didn't respond to that email (it's a forwarded newsletter that comes out every few days, he forwards every one. Sometimes I respond, usually I don't). He could be trying to get my attention but that would be mindreading so I can't really say Yesterday he sent me a pizza crust recipe, randomly. I waited until this morning and just responded "Interesting, thanks!"
At least one of the tweets this morning was directly related to something that he knows I'm obsessed with. Normally he would @ me on it but he didn't. I didn't acknowledge it.
Just checked our online calendar for June and noticed he had a few more trips scheduled (for work and non-work items). Basically he's going to be out of town 95% of of the time after next week through Mid-August (and yes he's open about sharing this on the joint calendar). Including a weekend out in the town of the likliest EA/PA candidate.
Gee, he's going to have a hard time getting the house in sellable shape if he's not around much, isn't he?
BUT I will wait to see what a realtor has to say before getting all 
about it. 
Yesterday he sent me a pizza crust recipe, randomly. I waited until this morning and just responded "Interesting, thanks!"