Hit a minor bump the other night, the night of the 4th. S18 was working 3-10pm and S15 was relaxing after a long week of basketball and baseball (practice, games, camp). He was just playing his video games. I stayed home till 3 and wanted to get out, so I went to visit a friend. S15 said he was comfortable and didn't need anything.
Around 8pm STBX drove by, coming from his friends house up the street. He stopped and decided to take S15 to dinner. He texted me to tell me and I said "OK" and no longer felt obligated to go home soon, since nobody was there. I stayed at friends house.
He brought S15 back at 9:30 and by 10pm my phone was blowing up with texts, "when are you coming home, S15 doesn't even know where you are" and then "I am worried about him, I am coming to get him and keep him overnight". This was at 10:15 and he is almost 16. I was literally 15 minutes away.
Before I could respond, he called me and was angry. He was also drunk. I convinced him to back down and hung up.
The next morning I emailed him to tell him how inappropriate his behavior was and I would not tolerate it. In the sober light, I think he realized and seems like he did some real thinking.
By last night at the baseball game he was calm and joking. He pulled me aside and said "I agree that I should not be sleeping there every other weekend, and will stop. It is not good for the kids and not good for you either" He will now be taking them more often and just letting them sleep at home. It is a win/win
Thanks!! So this morning was supposed be the support hearing but I got an email yesterday from my L that there will be a continuance. His L had a case come up that trumps ours. So we are rescheduling, but he had to send a document via his L that he will continue to pay the bills that he has been paying until that happens. It doesn't change anything for me ultimately.
So the goal now is to schedule a half day conference to see if we can get as much done in one day as possible, rather than going in separately for each item. I think this is best. I hope it happens soon.
The boys and I are counting down to vacation. Really starting to get excited now that it is so close. And the boys shared with me that STBX is taking them away for a long weekend in August. So I am thrilled for them that they will get a second vacation.
I was talking to my friends husband the other day. Apparently one day while on vacation, all of the dads take the boys golfing and to lunch. Mike assured me that my kids will be included and not made to feel awkward. I already knew this from the wives, but it felt really good to hear again. I know the boys will appreciate it.
You're going to do a little more "driving" in this divorce process, or you're going to end up w/a very large attorney bill.
- Prior to each court "event" - check-in w/attorney's assistant to make sure all documents required by both sides are being handled in a timely fashion. - Also, think constantly about how you can help to short step the process... (helping w/docs, initiating required research, etc...)
The half day conference should have been done WAY before they (finally) scheduled the temporary financial hearing. Who knows? You might not have even needed the hearing!
The vacation sounds FAB!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
You're going to do a little more "driving" in this divorce process, or you're going to end up w/a very large attorney bill.
- Prior to each court "event" - check-in w/attorney's assistant to make sure all documents required by both sides are being handled in a timely fashion. - Also, think constantly about how you can help to short step the process... (helping w/docs, initiating required research, etc...)
The half day conference should have been done WAY before they (finally) scheduled the temporary financial hearing. Who knows? You might not have even needed the hearing!
Thanks mindfull, and I completely agree with you. I have been doing much of my own paperwork. I am trying to keep from getting charged at every turn. It is ridiculously expensive already.
