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Quote:
it was "being responsible" because one of us had to be.


exactly!!

well ex moved to WV, for a job, so thats the main reason, why he didnt spend one of his times coming to see him , and not to his sisters to hang out, ski, party is beyond me!!! but thats how he is--- or the 6 months Ryan was out of work, to fly him over, who knows, but guess hes decided to come see his son's new apt. see where he works,yada yada, i HOPE thats why hes coming!
Yea lots of Ryans! popular 80s name eh? lol


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Ahhh but my Ryan was born in '79. So I was ahead of the game - LOL!

yes, I have always wondered why my ex would never invite his kids away for the w/e. But I KNOW the answer. In my case - maggot runs the show and has from the day she put her sites on my husband. She is a predator. She knew just what to do and say. Ex is alcoholic and has a few mental problems besides. She accepts some very bad behaviours and he would NEVER leave her because she knows too much about him. LOL. She runs the show!

Dickheads for sure. Hey - that's funny - our ex H's also have the same name!

Barb

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I was on the backend of the Ryan's...mid 90's. Good Irish name. smile. Went with the solid Latin standby, Patrick, for his middle name.

Hope all is well with your Ryan.

kat


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Kat: Is your ex H also called Dickhead??? We all DO have so much in common. LOL

Ryan had a rough day yesterday - he keeps having skin breakdowns. I spent the entire day on Ryan stuff yesterday. 2.5 hour meeting with his day program staff, then a visit to the dr. Then phone calls and emails about his care that lasted till suppertime! Then last night I went in his room and his bed was SOAKED! Took a long, long time to get him clean and dry and comfortable. BUT...

Went in his room this morning and he was awake. I opened the curtains and he just had the biggest smiles on the planet for me. And it was all worth it! Nothing could make me feel so happy!

Barb

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Poor baby, glad he had a smile for you today tho smile

So i went to lunch w/ a girlfriend from my old work today, shes a little younger, we got together because people were telling her to contact me and you can guess why,,,,
15 yrs of marriage, 2 teen boys... and yup, hubby is bored, hooked up w/ a co worker 12 yrs his junior, went on a buss. trip, called her from the airport to say, he decided to not come home, and instead to move in w/ her!, hasnt paid any child support as of yet, Shes working on that now,,, she finally filed, one day decided to forget it, after crying and being a depressed mess for 8 months.

She seems actually pretty good, but I feel bad for her boys, one is taking it better, the other, 13, dosnt understand why dad dosnt love them, never comes over, never calls. Sooo sad, and such a repeat story!


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Hi Barb, how do you deal with the day to day anxiety when your son is not doing well? It must be so hard, I am interested in how you have learned to cope with so much uncertainty about his health.

And back to the original concept of the thread, my ex moved to Mongolia in January. You may remember that the OW was a Mongolian national 20 years younger who snatched him at a bar in London. They have been married for a few years and have two little kids. Prior to his move he had been not in touch with his family at all for more than a year and would not allow his children to see their grandmother, aunts, uncles, or cousins. The new wife had kept in touch and they did get together before the move across the world with his mother who is almost 90. I have no contact but I do get stuff from his family.

I speculate why but even his family does not know. Maybe support for his wife whose family is there, financial? An adventure? Who knows why they do this. Drastic, I think your x leaving without contact is too. Wonder

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Karen:

Oh - your poor friend. It does take you back, doesn't it? To that time when we were all feeling totally lost. Deserted. Fearful. Trying to get our exes to see the "error of their ways". Hmmm...

I think they don't look back once they've made that decision. I know that mine tried it once but no way could he ever face his demons or his mistakes. So he stayed with her - someone who would take him at his worst because of all the perks her came with. Pathetic, really.

I hope you were able to give her some comfort and assurance that she WILL be ok in time. Just as I did with you. And you have done so many times since.

Barb

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Hey Wonder,

Sometimes I wonder too. Hmmm... I have been a caregiver for all my adult life. And it will be probably for the rest of my life too. And the truth is - it is NOT easy.

Lately it seems I am in demand 24/7. Despite the fact I have nursing care in the house - they rely on me to make decisions all the time. It's too much but it is something I have to do. I am so glad that Josh accepts it all - most men would run!

Unbelievable what your ex and mine have done. Like they don't even have kids. I guess we have to do our best to convince our kids that they are not the cause of the problem and that their dads DO love them. Despite the fact they sold them out for a sexual partner. What kid can deal with that?

Oh well - enough of that. Mine is probably having another honeymoon on his 2nd cruise this year. He knows Ryan will be fine - after all - he has a great mother.

Barb

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Thanks Gineen,

It has been a real struggle.

We have the Dietician on speed dial. LOL. Ry is tube fed and on Jevity. He seems to do well on it.

But as fast as we can clear up one area - another becomes red and inflamed. He has just been through so much and it is so difficult to have this happening.

Onward. We will conquer this eventually. In the meantime - hope to get him out for a boat ride tomm.

Barb

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Wanna come? It is so nice on the lake right now.

Barb

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