Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 5 of 5 1 2 3 4 5
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 38
F
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 38
I feel that my R is so dead right now. I don't even register as somebody with WAW. She didn't tell me about moving to a new apartment, she didn't tell me about her flight, etc

I know I need patience but I cannot see any improvement in the sitch. How do I communicate with NC?

I will keep LRT for now.


H 34 W 27
M 9mth T 8
Separated 1/'12 ILYBNILWY
OM 2/'12
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 1,108
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 1,108
only you can decide when you've had enough. DB says that it's patience and patience and patience.

if you don't register as someone with your wife than register as someone with yourself. Get involved with some things, go out with friends, start doing things to remember that there is a you outside of this M, and that you are a good fun person!

Joined: May 2012
Posts: 38
F
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 38
Brit, you are right. My friend said the same thing. It is part of the roller coaster. Or as he puts it, a lot of what I hear and think is just background "noise". I must stay focused on myself.

I try to treat myself everyday. Even if it's just a small thing to make me happy for a moment. That is so important. To love yourself when the person you care about the most does not right now.


H 34 W 27
M 9mth T 8
Separated 1/'12 ILYBNILWY
OM 2/'12
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 1,108
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 1,108
Yes! It's also good to think of this as something you're going through there will be an end, you will be happy again, you will turn a corner. Good things will happen to you! Be open to them.

Joined: May 2012
Posts: 38
F
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 38
Brit, I'm in a space I'm really not sure of at the moment. I think you were there not long ago. For the last three days, I keep thinking of all the negative personality traits my WAW had that contributed to the A.

I don't like my thinking as it put my focus back on her. And scarier still, I'm not thinking these from a place of blame

You used to ask yourself "what is my fear?". I don't want to make a decision that I will regret. That's why GAL and LRT seems so right.

This roller coaster is exhausting!


H 34 W 27
M 9mth T 8
Separated 1/'12 ILYBNILWY
OM 2/'12
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 38
F
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 38
It's ironic that in my WAW's fog, one of her justifications for A was that I could not change my personality to address the issues in M.

When I reflect back in history, there were many of her traits (big and small) that bugged me. I accepted these as I love someone warts and all. The irony is that I think that R is difficult because of her personality.


H 34 W 27
M 9mth T 8
Separated 1/'12 ILYBNILWY
OM 2/'12
Page 5 of 5 1 2 3 4 5

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard