You are no more ready to D than you are to reconcile. You are BOTH all over the place. You are BOTH acting out trying to ease the pain.
Until there is not much emotion and no strong sense of urgency to file for D, neither of you are likely ready for it.
Why not: file for legal separation which includes a financial agreement and stipulates that your personal lives are none of the other person's business and physically separate.
Right now, both your actions are unstable. First you are both trying to reconcile, not wanting divorce, having sex, etc... one day and less than a week later filing D papers.
Get to a place of peace, strength, stability, non-reactivity and THEN move forward.
Sheez. Neither of you has any real clue what you want. One thing you both NEED is a lot of emotional space.
How I wish someone had given that advice to my H and me when he was rushing to D. It's better than any advice we paid for!
OMW, I hope you are checking in and taking the excellent advice you are getting for what it's worth. We all care about you and hope for peace and happiness to come your way. Take a deep breath....and take care. Ncl
OMW - wow. A lot has happened with you, huh? I don't know if your farewell was permanent, but a hello and best wishes from me, if you are still reading posts.
I'm still married, but we are living apart. Nearly 2 years since he started affair and 1.5 since I found out/he moved out. An atty I recently saw said people who come in either want to be divorce asap or they have no real desire to/take years to get around to it. I guess you are the former and I am the latter.
I am glad you have decided not to have a difficult contested divorce, but you still have a long road in front of you. Keep us updated, when you think of it. Good luck.
Faith is, at one and the same time, absolutely necessary and altogether impossible. --Stanislaw Lem
and I'm just curious about the talk your d9 had with you. You said she already "knew everything".
Does that mean your d knows you both had affairs, or just your w's?
I think it could be telling for you, to know where your real work begins, which is on you.
also you never answered Starsky's question about whether you are a man of faith. Well?
In any case,
if this is "it", then I sincerely wish you all well, especially your d.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
