We're in piecing now, but I like this board the best. I like it because I've been where a lot of you are and I can say that if your M gets back o track, the road is long and hard, but it does come around.
Want to report that after shoring up my H feelings and needs, he has now started to reciprocate. He entered into individual counseling because he 'wants to treat me better.' Can you believe it?!
He has been so good and nice to me that I am so totally enamored with hm now and now feel so in love. I blamed myself for our demise......but maybe I wasn't holding him accountable for is part. Doesn't matter.....but you just have to be nice! Somebody has to go first.....
M 55 H 58 M 24 T 29 S 22,21, 19 Bomb 4/10 It (A) really isn't about you 11/2013 We all have work to do
The truth will set you free, but it will almost kill you first.
For one.....always be happy to see him. Whatever you're doing, no matter how small or trivial or big...., don't let it trump him coming home!
OMG! This was like #1.5 on my H's list of things I did wrong. Seriously...I never knew it was a big enough deal to want a divorce over. What I would do to have had this info 3 years ago!
Thank you for giving me hope. Im beginning to lose it. She treats me so badly. I cant believe she just doesnt finish what she started. Divorce me. There must still be something in her heart.
We are committed, but my goodness.....it sure is hard sometimes!
Yesterday was the anniversary of the ow committing a crime upon herself and trying to frame me for it. Yeah, really crazy I know.
You'd think I would be "over it" by now.....well, something just hit me like a ton of bricks during dinner last night. All of a sudden I started seeing the IM chat (like photographic memory) of how he wrote to her and said he did not believe I did it, that it was totally out of character for me. He also wrote (insinuating) that he thought she did it. Well, it was interesting the exchange in that part and how she got him (beware of the borderline's ability to influence) to believe it was me and he ended up saying (in reference to me) "Let's throw her to the wolves."
So speed up to 2 years later and I am still wrestling with the fact that my H threw me under the bus, betrayed me, dissed me....all for her. What to do with that?!
He is saying that he has been faithful and nice to me and should suffice. I say those are the basic marriage vows we promised and the "contract" I signed up for......not infidelity and betrayal.
So, in society when you break the law, you pay restitution. You confess, tell the truth to the injured party and others. You set the record straight.
I don't know, it just doesn't feel right that he apologizes for feeding me to wolves and I forgive him and it's all done. My wish? That he tells her he KNOWS she did it. But I won't get that....so this is my torture.
I really hate being so bitter and stuck. I want the old me back.
M 55 H 58 M 24 T 29 S 22,21, 19 Bomb 4/10 It (A) really isn't about you 11/2013 We all have work to do
The truth will set you free, but it will almost kill you first.
Oh and BTW......don't be side-tracked by my little PTSD episode. It happens, but I AM getting better....and he is looking at his behavior.
He even said after one counseling session, "I was crazy...and why didn't any of my friends confront me?!" Nobody asked him, "What the hell are you doing? You are destroying your M!" People who know both of us, who care about both of us!
Be a friend to M! No secrets.............
M 55 H 58 M 24 T 29 S 22,21, 19 Bomb 4/10 It (A) really isn't about you 11/2013 We all have work to do
The truth will set you free, but it will almost kill you first.
