Good morning JB, I know how you feel about the subject of her potentially moving. No matter how well you may be doing in BBIN, GALING, etc, (and you are doing an outstanding job!)just the thought that she could make such a decision whether you liked it or not can cause a degree of anxiety, because its just another thing that makes you feel relatively powerless. Knowing that it will effect not just you, but your son makes it that much more distressing.
You have come across as very, very flexible and creative, I am positive that you will adjust to the sitch as needed.
Have a great day JB, how is the weather out there today?
m 54 XW 48 m 12 t 14 bomb 6-11 s 10-11 wife moved to other state 10-21-11 d 9-12
O GOD THY SEA IS SO GREAT AND MY BOAT IS SO SMALL!
Really, I think you should completely up-end your life and move to wherever your W suggests; that will bring her around. As if your son doesn't already have enough upheaval in his life...
Good job on holding it together, though and great job on letting her know you are living large! You are letting your son see how a real man can handle adversity - not with self-pity and misery but by kicking adversity right in the teeth.
H 56 W 48 D27,S21 SS25 SS22 Severely autistic M(#2 for both) 9 1/2 yrs. "I've never loved you" 3/7/2011 Separated 8/7/2011 BITS
though I might have kept the football thing to myself... let her figure it out through stories from your S or other devices.
Thanks, WHG. That's what I was initially thinking. I was debating on when to let that one out. I was just waiting for the right time. There was a small part of it that can be attributed to retaliation for her speculating about moving. I mentioned under the heading of where my S was going to be on Thanksgiving weekend, and he should be fine being here for the party. More of it, though, was a little self promotion that I haven't done in awhile.
Really, I think you should completely up-end your life and move to wherever your W suggests; that will bring her around.
^^^ ROFL! Telemark, this made me laugh. Thanks! That would be NG thing to do, wouldn't it?!
On a serious note: IF she moved, I am going to pray about it. I am going to make the best decision for ME and my S. Now, I not going to doing anything spiteful, like move in the opposite direction, tempting as it may be. I know my W's patterns, too, and her family's patterns for that matter. She could up there, be there for 2 years, and move again. Who knows?
Morning, JB, I have to say I'm a little surprised she would act as though that was a reasonable request. Really?? If a reconciliation was on the table that would be one thing, but 'hey, I still want a D and why don't you pick up your life and move to another town to accommodate me?' is...bizarre. Good for you on keeping it together when she threw that at you, many could not have handled it so well (me).
Thanks, ROMB!! I guess I could have said, no, I would not move to that town, but I'd probably move to North Carolina if you moved where your parents are.
It's somewhere I thought I'd always like to live. As a side story, earlier on in my sitch, and when my W was still at the house, I had all but ordered some Homes guide for places in NC to be delivered by mail to the house. A buddy mine 2x4'd me before I pressed that final enter button on the website because he spotlighted my intent in doing so.
I know what you mean JB... a few days ago during an R talk my W was asking about some of my GAL. I mean... who do I go hang with? So I told her about the one church group. The group is made up of:
a cardio-thoracic surgeon
an OB-GYN
a Poli Sci professor
a VP of one of the hospitals
two psychologists
a lobbyist
a state assemblyperson
and some others. My W's response? "Geez... don't you feel a little overwhelmed there?" I was genuinely puzzled... why? I can hang with them... they got nothin' on me Felt good to show that much confidence to her.
Though it did highlight one huge difference b/w my W and I... she would be afraid of that group. I just look at them as people who put their pants on the same way I do
Married 6 together 8 Me:38 W:31 second marriage for both SS12, SD10, S6 Bomb: 9/8/11 (day before our 5 yr ann) W moved out: 2/18/12 D final: 11/12/12 Share S 50/50. Spend as much time as I can with SS & SD
JB the WAS are really lost souls. They are so confused it is sad. My W said to me when this all started that why I don't move closer to my job? She does have a point but I rather be closer to my D and do my 170 mile commute everyday. Keep getting a life and have as much fun as you can. She can either join you or not. But remember that God has a plan for you otherwise you and all of us would not be here.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
wanted to say I'm watching your sitch. That moving stuff is frightening -- but like I say about my own --- the stability of having S's home not change (your house - his home) is important for him. Something has to be stable and reliable. You are his rock. You will always do what is right for S. NONE of us have any doubt of that!!
Hugs and wonderful thoughts/prayers to you friend.
Me (f): 45 W(f) 35 T: 13 y C: S4 adopted at birth 6-18-11 bomb: I want to break up 8-28-11 OW confirmed
tempting as it may be. I know my W's patterns, too, and her family's patterns for that matter. She could up there, be there for 2 years, and move again. Who knows?
I know what you mean JB... a few days ago during an R talk my W was asking about some of my GAL. I mean... who do I go hang with? So I told her about the one church group. The group is made up of: