Although it's been a while since I have posted, I do check in frequently to see what is going on. I'll link back to my previous thread in time - but I received word from STBEX today that has somewhat thrown me for a loop...
It's been two years since she moved out. She e-mailed me today that she is going to buy a house near where she is currently renting. Thrown me a bit but I replied to her that I mentioned it to the kids (she said that it would be OK if I did) and they were excited. I said that "I wish you well." Nothing more, nothing less...
Just need some time to process this - especially in the light that I have paid out some major kid related bills on my own without any input from her. In all fairness, there are a couple of joint bills that she has been ponying up on but it pales in comparison to my recent outlays on the kids' behalf...
I did leave a message with my L this afternoon (currently on vacation but returning next week) that it is time to get to closure - and soon. I didn't want to be the one to push this to the end - but it needs to happen for my healing...
Me 52, STBEX 52 D 17, S 12 M 20 years Em Sep since 2002, Phys Sep Sept 2009
Heard back from L earlier - I couldn't get a late afternoon appt this week so it will be next Monday. I also have an IC session scheduled that morning so I should be in a healthy frame of mind for the afternoon.
Due to a very busy Sunday evening I knew it would be a good idea to take the day off and lounge around. D has a school conference in about an hour and she has her IC appt later so W will pick her and S up for the night.
Already I am envisioning what it will be like to be legally single again (been effectively single for the past few years but consciously decided not to do anything about it as I wanted to take time to somewhat heal and rediscover myself.) If this goes the way I envision, the D may happen before the end of the year....
Me 52, STBEX 52 D 17, S 12 M 20 years Em Sep since 2002, Phys Sep Sept 2009
Haven't fallen off the edge of the earth - just haven't put the time in to write a decent post although I have been reading other's threads. Maybe this evening...
Me 52, STBEX 52 D 17, S 12 M 20 years Em Sep since 2002, Phys Sep Sept 2009
So last evening turned into this evening. Ah well...
The good news on the job front is that the lab group where I work at is looking at very serious growth over the next few years as more contract analysis work comes our way. In this economy, that is very positive news! And I am becoming more involved in the operations aspect of work which may lead to other opportunities down the road...
Earlier in the month, D celebrated her 17th birthday! I treated W and the kids to dinner at a local restaurant and all of us had a pretty good time.
However, my personal financial situation is very precarious. I shared with my L a worksheet that W has been using to track expenditures - and it is not pretty. Some of the things W has targeted as shared expenditures will definitely not fly but I haven't heard back from L with her take on all this. With nearly all of my 401K having been cashed in, there is really no cushion to rely on. I know most of you are in a very similar situation so as I absorb more of my own cost (major medical, auto insurance, sharing college costs for D, etc.) the next few months should be interesting to experience...
Fortunately, my mood and overall outlook is surprisingly upbeat. Maybe it's the wine that is contributing to that... But in the past couple of weeks, I have gotten a number of positive comments from some women friends about my general demeanor - that I always seem to have a smile on my face and that I take adversity in stride. Most of these women are very happily married and (collectively) we have some very strong boundaries in place - so I value their views and insights.
Well - I have the kids tonight so I had better get dinner started soon!
Me 52, STBEX 52 D 17, S 12 M 20 years Em Sep since 2002, Phys Sep Sept 2009
You need to get that D done soon so who owes what is spelled out.
The financial stuff will be interesting. I've been struggling for two years. I should -- thanks to unavoidable bankruptcy from her CC debts -- really turn a corner in March and April and be on solid footing.
XW though hasn't really adjusted her lifestyle that much. She shops smarter for food, but she still spends, spends, spends on clothes.
She's headed for bankruptcy too even though, with CS, she brings home twice as much as I do.
I think reality hits the WAS much later than it does us. You'll be on your way up when she's spiraling down.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
But in the past couple of weeks, I have gotten a number of positive comments from some women friends about my general demeanor - that I always seem to have a smile on my face and that I take adversity in stride. Most of these women are very happily married and (collectively) we have some very strong boundaries in place - so I value their views and insights.