The last Little Friday thread hit the 100 mark......
So I thought I would start a new one.
Here is the history on it for those of you that do not know.
Originally Posted By: MHL
Maybe I should give a little background on Little Friday so everyone will know where this all started and what it has evolved into for me and now all of you too.
A very good friend of mine that used to live in our neighborhood and is happily married used to take time out once a week with his wife. We all had the same demands on our time, work, house, kids etc. Jeff is a person who lives life to the fullest aways and lives in the moment, I truly admire him, he is a real "life of the party" kind of guy.
He would make sure to help his W get the kids fed and to bed early or at least on time on Thursday nights. Once the kids were down, they would have a late dinner that he fixed for just the two of them. They would have a bottle of wine and unwind and talk to each other uninterrupted for a couple of hours at least once a week. They also put on music that took them to another place even though they never left the house. Sometimes they would talk, sometimes they would laugh, sometimes they would dance, sometimes they would just sit and listen to the music......together. Jeff always said he and his wife liked to welcome the weekend a little early and thus the name "Little Friday"
Jeff shared this practice with me a number of years ago and my W and I did this but did not quite grab the concept of maintaining the connection with each other. We made it more about a night to socialize during the week which is not bad but the point was to have uninterrupted "quality" time with your spouse.
I have now made it the one day a week I give to myself, a day to recognize that life is good and it is good to be alive. For me sometimes I want to be alone, sometimes I want to have friends over, doesn't matter it is my day to be happy no matter what! A day of affirmation if you will. I like to put on music that takes me to a different place, for me I prefer to go to the Caribbean so I tend to lean towards that music that reminds me of being on vacation.
If you are reading this thread you are on these boards to save your marriage but as you have learned or will learn is that you save your marriage by saving yourself first. Life can be hard, it can be unfair, but it can also be just what it is....LIFE, the opposite of DEATH. I know sometimes you may feel as though you have spiritually died but we have to remind ourselves that we have within us the power to make ourselves happy!! We control the life we live and I want my life to be GOOD!!!
So grab your beverage of choice, put on that music that takes you away to a happy place away from all the crap going on right now and relax. Welcome the weekend a little early!!
Cheers
I think I will have that Corona on that infamous patio tonight with a little Bob Marley to sooth my soul!!!
Taking a look back over my shoulder today.......wow!!!!
I am in such a different place than I was 2 years ago!!!!
I would do "Little Friday" to escape the pain and tourmoil and it worked for me. I was able to fool myself into thinking that everything is alright.....faking it until I made it.
I remember waiting to get to that time when it would be better.......that time is today and the day after that and the next day and the next one and........
I will be packing tonight for that trip down to ole Mexico and some of the caribbean salt air and plenty of sunshine and an endless supply of Corona's .
This is real....not make believe.....and most importantly it is something I LOVE to do.
You see my XW and I loved to vacation in the Caribbean, whether it is on a cruise, at a resort or a shack on the beach....it was a part of my life that made me happy. It was something I did that defined WHO I AM.
When my marriage was threatened I thought that I would never be able to do those things again....ever
and I also thought that if I could not do that again then I would never be happy again.
The cycle of negative thinking fed itself.
I had to stop it and literally pretend I was on that beach, beer in hand listening to the music, and I did it at least once a week to remind myself what "happiness" FELT like. (sometimes I did it twice a week )
I also had to remind myself that.....
"Life is Good and it is Good to be Alive"
Well in 2 days I do not have to pretend.......I will be there with a beautiful woman I care about to share that time.........a happy time.
Just know that while you may not think that you will be happy again.......you actually will.......it takes TIME. While you are waiting for that TIME to arrive.....remind yourself of those things that you LOVE to do and if you can't do them right now.......pretend............
I DID......
and it worked!!!!!!!
Happy Little Friday Everyone!!!!
Cheers
Formerly "missherlove"
Me49 XW49 M17 T19 S16 D20
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
Happy little Friday everyone! You all have been an inspiration - thank you. I openly talk about how I found "The Boards" and how it has changed my life. honest to GOD changed my life. The friends I have made and the journey I have taken to be the person I am today. I inspire myself
I still think someone should write a script and we sell it to the networks...maybe HBO cause we are crazy like that too many F words for the networks! It would be the best TV show ever! It would also help people. Drama, anger, love, friendships, laughter - we have it all on The Boards! lol!!!
I am going to enjoy a glass of wine tonight (14 Hands Hot to Trot) yummy! and imagine that I am in a hot tub with some music in the background
TAMF m:41 xh:41 T: 20 M: 15 D: 16 D: 14 Bomb dropped: 7/3/10 separated: 7/15/10 H moved in to new apt. with OW: 7/1/11 divorced: 8/26/12
Happy little Friday everyone! You all have been an inspiration - thank you. I openly talk about how I found "The Boards" and how it has changed my life. honest to GOD changed my life. The friends I have made and the journey I have taken to be the person I am today. I inspire myself
I still think someone should write a script and we sell it to the networks...maybe HBO cause we are crazy like that too many F words for the networks! It would be the best TV show ever! It would also help people. Drama, anger, love, friendships, laughter - we have it all on The Boards! lol!!!
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too many F words for the networks! It would be the best TV show ever! It would also help people. Drama, anger, love, friendships, laughter - we have it all on The Boards! lol!!!
