Here is a tip for people who have to have custody papers drawn up. Make sure you put in the paper that law inforcement can be used in retriving your children if the other parent decided to go against an order!
MY sister is dealing with this today. She has had custody of her daugher since she was 2. She is 10 now. Her ex H had her daughter over the weekend and just decided he werent going to bring her back! He lives in another county, so she ended up not even going to her school today....HE is in contempt BUT my sister cant do a thing about it till she gets a lawyer and pays $2500 to file a motion for contempt!!!!!! AND she has full custody!!! ALL because its not in her papers that the law can remove the child and place back with the custodial parent. He wont even let the child talk to her mom!
Just make sure all bases are covered in your papers. Not sure if this is true in all states or if the law here is just being this way!
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Thanks Trusting. SHe needs it. HE still hasnt brought her home or to school. He did let her talk to her last night. Of course he was coaching her on what to say. Saying she wanted to stay with her daddy and go to school up there. Now her daddy is a drug addict....just went to rehab where he left early. If feels as if she has been kidnapped!! Its horrible! The law says if he keeps her out of school for more than 10 days then something can be done...but till then we just sit and wait. He doesnt have any money to hire a lawyer...he cant even pay his $40 a WEEK childsupport on time...always a month behind and always in court....YET the law cant go get her and take her HOME!!!
Prayers please!!
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Lorie, she has gotten her lawyer and has had him served with a contempt order. She has gotten to talk to her only once. He has called SS on her saying there is domestic violence in the home. SS has already checked it out and found that to be bogus. HE is using what he can to get to her. She was supposed to go to court this morning but HIS lawyer called hers last night and said he couldnt be in court till Tuesday. PRobably to figure out what he was going to do to get out of this mess. Their daughter has not been in school in a week now. He didnt even get a lawyer till Friday. Hopefully she will be back with her mother tomorrow. She is asking for supervised visits from now on and also for him to pay all attorney fees and that the LAW can be inforced to remove her from his home if he does this again. Also her lawyer said that they will NOT be talking to her daughter at court!!
Now, as for my sitch....my 10 year old son come crying to me last night after we all went to bed....I asked what was wrong and he "I dont want you and daddy to get a divorce". That broke my heart. I told him that it was ok, that it wasnt going to change things around there, it would only be a piece of paper, we would still be his parents and we both loved him. He said He knew that...then fell asleep on my bed....I cried myself to sleep. How can someone make dumb choices like this and hurt their own children???
I told my H what he said....all he could say is he understood how it could break my heart. Then later texts me "hugs" and "luv ya". SO SICK of that stuff. I dont want his hugs or love anymore!!!! That will NOT fix a dang thing!!!!
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
It is hard for kids. Some let the anger and fustration out physically some internalize everything.
In the end, the only thing you can continue to do is love them and be as understanding as possible. Never bash Dad...and continue to reassure them that you both love him. As he gets older he will form his own opinion of your H. Have you consider therapy for him?
As for your H's text. Maybe Kissak it is time for a nice healthy boundary. Maybe you should let your H know that you do not want these texts and if he sends them againg you will contact your phone carrier and have them route his calls to someone who give a chit. Boundaries Kissak. Stop allowing H to drag your butt back in. I am not saying be a prick...just that if you really do not need to get these messages or if they are too painful. YOU have a responsibility to YOURSELF to tell him to stop and/or do something for YOU that avoids getting these messsages.
Hope everything else is good and I hope business is picking up for you.
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Then later texts me "hugs" and "luv ya". SO SICK of that stuff. I dont want his hugs or love anymore!!!! That will NOT fix a dang thing!!!!
dang, I am right there with you sister! doesn't that sh!t just piss you off sometimes? I think you and I might be married to the same man. Ummm, you can have him!
TAMF m:41 xh:41 T: 20 M: 15 D: 16 D: 14 Bomb dropped: 7/3/10 separated: 7/15/10 H moved in to new apt. with OW: 7/1/11 divorced: 8/26/12
Thanks Eric.....I dont ever bash my sons daddy...on here maybe but not to my son. Matter of fact I learned a long time ago not to do that even in front of my son. He loves his daddy. I try my best to keep it in and not say anything around my son. Now my daughter bashes her dad all on her own. But she is 15 and has formed her own opinion of him. Maybe I should consider therapy for him...never thought about that for him...my daughter had plenty though. He was just younger when all this started and never seemed to affect him too much.
Things are ok with me. Finances are horrible right now. H did help me out by giving me a blank check to help me out right now. We had to deal with the hurricane which hit our area really hard. Lots of people homeless right now still...living in tents and stuff....homes flooded....its horrible here...which has affected my business badly. I didnt ask my H for help, but he knew I needed help.
I need to figure out about him sending me those hugs and love messages....sometimes I just blow them off and dont let them affect me...but times like this it bothers me.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
TAMF....I dont really want him...you can certainly have him if you want him!
Im sure his OW really wouldnt like him sending me hugs and kisses and mess like that....thats one of the reasons I threw him out!
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
I am quite sure you do not. Here is okay though …bash away….
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Maybe I should consider therapy for him
I think it would be a good idea. It gives him a place and person to speak to about what he may be feeling without fear of hurting you or your H. I would let H know and see if he cares to alternate taking your son.
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Finances are horrible right now
Join the crowd…but they will get better.
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We had to deal with the hurricane which hit our area really hard. Lots of people homeless right now still...living in tents and stuff....homes flooded....its horrible here...which has affected my business badly.
I am soo sorry to hear that…glad you and the fam are okay.
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I didnt ask my H for help, but he knew I needed help
I wanted to say this to you the last time you posted something like this (I think several months ago)…. What is that Aretha Franklin song…..you know….R…..E…..S……P…..xxxxxx Kissak, IMO, in order to break free from Mr. Crazy….you may want to reconsider taking any help from him. I can understand it is hard and that I would not want the kids to suffer…but any moneys for YOU should not be taken. It gives him the impression (at least IMO) that he still has some form of “right” over you and by taking the cash you help validate that feeling. I also believe the sooner that you start standing and doing for YOU by YOU….you will be more willing to go tell him to F off and to stop sending you the text. That said, if ya need it I understand…take the time to figure out how you can become LESS dependent on HIM and more dependent on YOU. Ok? Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Boundaries Kissak. Stop allowing H to drag your butt back in. I am not saying be a prick...just that if you really do not need to get these messages or if they are too painful. YOU have a responsibility to YOURSELF to tell him to stop and/or do something for YOU that avoids getting these messsages.
