I just started reading DR and floored at how exact the description of the walk away wife describes my wife. It is encouraging to know that MCD sees what I see and knows how I can try and save my marriage and family.
Things have gotten better between my wife and I. I have started the LRT and my W wants to do more together. She decides we need a new kitten and I approved. She took my D and they got one at the local shelter. My W even told me she was thinking about me when she picked out the kitten because she wanted to make sure I liked it too. She also took my D shopping and told me that she was looking for some things for me. She said she is trying not to be as selfish and think more about my D and me.
I talked to my C about all of this and he said she is sending mixed signals. I agree but I think it is because she is a WAW and is confused and needs time to figure things out.
I am not giving in to the signs. I am, sticking to my guns. We are still sleeping in separate beds, and I don't say I love you or talk about our M at all. I see what is happening as baby steps and plan giving it all I've got.
Please tell me I'm going about all of this in the right way. I am doing everything I can to stay strong and not backslide.
It's been tough the last few days doing the LRT. Yesterday I almost lost it when my W told me she was on the pill. I then realized she was using it to regulate her period. Then my W freaked when she found out I had spent $70 because she thought I had gone back to smoking pot. I haven't in a long time but I have a past history with it. I told her it was for my counselor and she relaxed. I actually did use the money for my counselor visit.
Then, today she was talking about the money spending and said she thought I might have been on a date. She said she would have been okay with it. She then said, wait you ate dinner with us first.
I am so confused. I am sticking to my LRT and not giving up. I am hoping that was her trying to cover her feelings about that. I am not going to give up either way.
My W is only 34 but I think she is going through an MLC. She is going out a lot with younger people from her job. I know that she has been talking to an old friend from school and he is also going through a D. I don't know how far things have gone between them and I'm not going to pry and find out.
BA,
Between this and going back on the pill, plus a few other things your wife has said to you, this certainly has all the warning signs of there being somebody else. The GOOD news in that, is that it would explain a lot, and should she end whatever the heck it is, there's a great chance she'll make a move back towards her marriage.
What do you think she's getting from this other guy, that she's not getting from you? What have been her prior (not during this recent period) marital complaints?
She swears that she is not with anyone else but you never know. Although I'm not focused on finding out. I'm working on me and saving my family. I think she is in a rut and is trying to find herself. She acts like she still wants to be a family. I just need to LRT and give her time and me time.
She has also been doing more family things as we. That is why I am so confused. I really think she is really confused about where her life is going and she is blaming the marriage.
The big things she had a problem with in our marriage was I had gotten severely depressed. I didn't work much because of that. I have now found a job I love and am now the main bread winner.
I am just being patient and taking care of myself and waiting for her to pull out of her funk.
I have lost 35 pounds and am still working on my physical and mental health. She has taken notice and is always talking about the future. Thanks is why I think she will come around. I'm just not jumping the gun and start talking about us.
Another thing I have been thinking about is that my W is always saying that she can't predict the future. Get she is always talking about the future and in terms of us. So I honestly think she is just having a crisis of some sort. I am going to fight for my marriage and family to the bitter end.
I know that she has been talking to an old friend from school and he is also going through a D. I don't know how far things have gone between them and I'm not going to pry and find out.
You are avoiding what is starring you in the face.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
From what I can tell if it is anything it is an EA. Mainly because she is either at work or home most of the time. She goes out with her friends maybe once every two weeks or so. When she is at home she has our D and my D would freak out if she saw her mommy with someone other than me.
I know an EA still [censored]. I just want her to get all this stupid stuff out of her system. She keeps acting like she isn't going anywhere. I'm just going to stick with my LRT and see what happens after we both get some time and space.
BA, welcome and sorry you're here. I've heard it said before it's the place you don't want to be but you're glad you've found.
Originally Posted By: Blown away
From what I can tell if it is anything it is an EA.
Something to be wary of. Keep the focus on yourself, though.
Originally Posted By: Blown away
I'm just going to stick with my LRT and see what happens after we both get some time and space.
Whether or not she is having EA, the prescription is very similar. It does sound like the LRT is appropriate here.
It's good to hear you're in IC. Congratulations on the weight loss.
What are you doing to GAL?
Originally Posted By: Starsky309
What have been her prior (not during this recent period) marital complaints?
Think about this and tailor some 180s around these complaints. These complaints may be contributing to the funk she's in right now. She may be thinking things will never change.
