So it has been almost 2 years and I have a HUGE problem.... I still love my XH. I have tried denying it, I have tried to date, I have tried being alone and giving these wounds their sweet time..... and the wounds still festure. So my new 'thing' is to try and be friends with him and talk to him and see how that goes. I have no clue why I chose this road other then if he is gonna festure in my heart maybe it is better if he is a part of my life and we are friends. I am hoping this will help to bring some piece of mind or something. We sat down just the 2 of us not to long ago and had a very good chat. We have been having small yet serious chats leading up to now since the end of feb. 11. And the big one he admitted to still having feelings. this probably does not help the heart. We have both been unhappy since we split up. I don't know if I am making the right choice to have him in my life or not. Thing is I feel like I can not turn my back on him now. Everyday I want to talk to him and hear about his day and tell him about mine. UGH! what do I do? Insight ideas anyone please!!!!
t=5.5yrs m=4 kids=4 (8,9,10,&11) I dropped the bomb 10-09 regaining myself in house seperation 9-6-09 divorce final 4-19-10 Moved out 9-17-09
He had an emotional affair and is now living w the OW. He was the WAS and I filed I believe now and was half doing it to get him to look at the bigger picture and see that he was about to loose all and needed to either a) do something to change it or B) go threw with it if that was really what he wanted. He let it go threw and now here we are almost 2 yrs later going ah...... he is not happy. I am not happy. And now it is a what do we about what has been done. I often times wonder if I am co dendent when it comes to him, but it boils down to when I took vows I took them to heart and said them with all I had to give. I thought I would be happier and that I would never be able to trust him again. Now I know I am not happier but I still question could I trust him.
t=5.5yrs m=4 kids=4 (8,9,10,&11) I dropped the bomb 10-09 regaining myself in house seperation 9-6-09 divorce final 4-19-10 Moved out 9-17-09
i would maintain a holding pattern. similar to what michelle says to do in the divorce busting book if the separated spouse wants to come back - theres a section in there on that. the divorce papers are more a matter of semanitics, but the concept is the same
