Now that my sitch has entered a very difficult stage, I figured I might as well begin a new thread.
Unfortunately it appears that my M is just about done. I believe that there is still a very small chance that it can be saved, but a chance nonetheless.
It will depend on how these next few days go. Perhaps even the next few hours as we may hear back from the court today. If the judge grants the injunction that has been filed to keep my kids in my custody and if that documentation can/cannot be amended before it goes to my W.
If the judge does not grant the injunction, then I will have to reevaluate my plans on how to move forward.
TBH, I am not sure what I would do if my W reconsidered. At this point it doesn’t matter because that is not the case, so I won’t waste the time worrying about it.
As soon as I hear something, I will update my sitch. Thank you all for the advice and support. I appreciate it more than words can say.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
You know what Denver said in your last thread is something to think about. Call the W and let her know what is coming and when all else fails blame the attorney. It always works. sorry 25, Denver, Count, harrier, and any other's out there.
Look I will not sugar coat anything for you at this point. Your sitch and mine are very similar and apart from Karma I don't know of any other sitch on the boards right now that have to deal with the distance factor.
In my mind it is a HUGE problem at any attempts to saving anything.
However
You must also realize that the word NEVER is a very powerful word and should not be used when referring to these situations.
Distance is a problem but is also has its up side.
The downside is that you can't have the physical contact that you would have if you lived in the same town. You changes and actions can not been seen only spoken about and while it is true that you can show change even at a distance nothing can replace seeing the person.
The upside is that you really have no choice but to really concentrate on yourself. You are not doing anything to "show" her anything because there is no one there to see it. You heal quicker because you are not faced with the constant reminder. In this case TIME and SPACE does heal.
IF you are able to reconcile this in the future then you know what, she will find a way to you. The same effort put into establishing her new life can be put into rebuilding her R with you.
You have something I did not have.
Children together so in some way you will always be connected.
My kids will be staying with me until the hearing in September. This is huge for me.
I have a wide array of emotions. Honestly, I'm sad more than I am happy. Sad that it has come to this. Sad to see my family torn apart. Sad because of the ugliness. Sad that my W and I couldn't work things out. Sad for all the hurt, especially any hurt that I have caused or may cause.
I'm happy to be able to keep my kids until the hearing. I'm happy that I will be able to take my boy to school when he begins kindergarten. I'm happy that I will be able to protect for awhile longer.
It still does not feel right though.
The prayers were answered. So thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Yes, I wish the prayers to keep my M intact were answered, however this ordeal has made me a better person. Someday the W and I might be able to put this thing back together. Only time will tell and only the man upstairs knows.
If not, I will do what I feel is best for me and my kids. I will be okay.
As I go along on the rest of this difficult journey, I will keep you all posted. I thank God for finding this site and the great people associated with it.
Thank you, LITB
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
My W must have an intuition. She just sent me a message asking if we can talk. I'm guessing she wants to talk about what/how are we going to let the kids know that they aren't going to NM in 3 weeks.
This is all so surreal.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
Congratulations on the Ex Parte approval! Big news indeed, but not the ideal kind; I know what you mean, LITB. Hope the conversation with you wife goes positively.
"Congratulations" somehow seems like the wrong word, so I'll just say that I'm happy for you.
For some reason, I wanted to share with you a prayer of mine that a friend used to use when he was going thru his sitch. Maybe you can get something from it.
Peace,
Starsky
MY PRAYER FOR MY MARRIAGE:
Father, thank you for my family. Thank you for giving my children to me to care for, and (wife's first name) to me to help. Forgive me for the times that I haven’t appreciated them, and done my very best.
Father, I lift up (Wife) to you and ask for you to protect her today. Protect her from physical and emotional harm, and from the enticements of this world. Strengthen her to be the godly woman and strong mother that you want her to be. Give her encouragement that there is hope for her marriage, and that her efforts can result in a better, happier life for her, me and our children and grandchildren someday. Please open her eyes to the painful realities of divorce and separation and infidelity, and give her wisdom to make good decisions.
Lord, I acknowledge that you gave us all Free Will, but I ask for your extra grace for (Wife) during this difficult time.
Father God, I lift up myself to you, and ask for you to give me strength today. Give me the strength to do the daily work that needs to be done to restore my marriage, my family, and my finances. Give me the wisdom to make good decisions, and please give me the godly discernment to detect potential danger to my family, and give me the courage to be vigilant and do what’s necessary to protect my wife and my family. Lord, give me the PATIENCE to keep working at this, and help me put my faith in the substance of things HOPED FOR, And in the evidence of things NOT YET SEEN, instead of in appearances and the seeming hopelessness of a given situation.
Father, help me restore my marriage. Help me to be a better father, a better husband, and a stronger example to my children, especially my young men. Help (Wife) to be a better mother, a better wife, and a godly example to our children, especially our young women. Help her display, in her daily life today, the balance between strength and independence of a confident woman, and the humility and godliness that you require of her, and let that be an example to our daughters.
Lord, help me get thru this day, and live it in such a way that if it were to be the last day of my marriage, That you would be proud of the effort I gave, and the example I led.
I pray in Jesus’ name,
Amen.
btw, my friend just celebrated the birth of their first grandchild (a little girl), 25 years of marriage, and fully four years since reconciling their marriage. They still struggle with things, especially financially, but he credits this prayer with holding thier marriage together.
My W must have an intuition. She just sent me a message asking if we can talk. I'm guessing she wants to talk about what/how are we going to let the kids know that they aren't going to NM in 3 weeks.
Yes, this would be good for you both to be on the same page about this difficult conversation.
Father, thank you for my family. Thank you for giving my children to me to care for, and (wife's first name) to me to help. Forgive me for the times that I haven’t appreciated them, and done my very best.
Father, I lift up (Wife) to you and ask for you to protect her today. Protect her from physical and emotional harm, and from the enticements of this world. Strengthen her to be the godly woman and strong mother that you want her to be. Give her encouragement that there is hope for her marriage, and that her efforts can result in a better, happier life for her, me and our children and grandchildren someday. Please open her eyes to the painful realities of divorce and separation and infidelity, and give her wisdom to make good decisions.
Lord, I acknowledge that you gave us all Free Will, but I ask for your extra grace for (Wife) during this difficult time.
Father God, I lift up myself to you, and ask for you to give me strength today. Give me the strength to do the daily work that needs to be done to restore my marriage, my family, and my finances. Give me the wisdom to make good decisions, and please give me the godly discernment to detect potential danger to my family, and give me the courage to be vigilant and do what’s necessary to protect my wife and my family. Lord, give me the PATIENCE to keep working at this, and help me put my faith in the substance of things HOPED FOR, And in the evidence of things NOT YET SEEN, instead of in appearances and the seeming hopelessness of a given situation.
Father, help me restore my marriage. Help me to be a better father, a better husband, and a stronger example to my children, especially my young men. Help (Wife) to be a better mother, a better wife, and a godly example to our children, especially our young women. Help her display, in her daily life today, the balance between strength and independence of a confident woman, and the humility and godliness that you require of her, and let that be an example to our daughters.
Lord, help me get thru this day, and live it in such a way that if it were to be the last day of my marriage, That you would be proud of the effort I gave, and the example I led.
I pray in Jesus’ name,
Amen.
Thank you for sharing that prayer Starsky. It is absolutely moving.
The other day, when you said that you would pray for what is in the best interest of the children and NOT for what is the best interest of me......that said a lot to me about who you are. I respect and appreciate that.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
Congratulations on the Ex Parte approval! Big news indeed, but not the ideal kind; I know what you mean, LITB. Hope the conversation with you wife goes positively.
Thanks Alamo. You were one of the first posters to welcome me to the board. I haven't forgotten that.
When I was driving to Tahoe for Memorial Day weekend, I drove thru your town. I thought to myself, "I wonder how Alamo is doing?" I hope you are doing well.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
that's great LB. Did your W actually receive the stuff taht you posted earlier? Did you warn her about it?
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
sorry 25, Denver, Count, harrier, and any other's out there.