empowerment over, just had H pack his bags

[canadianMrs.]

Well, the EA that (according to H) ended in November and was (according to H) more like her stalking him, is actually a PA that has been going on for 7 months. Started around the time I was recovering from a hysterectomy to save my life from cancer, Nice!!! An e-mail from one of his friends finally caught him in a lie that he couldn't get out of. All the lies....even things he didn't have to lie about...
I made him (I was there too) tell our children he was leaving and then I made him call his parents. I don't know if I could ever trust him again. Ironic I went to the lawyers today...

[PEI]

BREATHE and calm down .... you are in a highly reactive state right now and justifiably angry and hurt.

Try to stick to one thread ... it will help us keep track of you ...


Vent away ... it's safe here ....

[canadianMrs.]

Is there a way to move all threads to one??

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Not aware of one.

PEI is right, I know your world just got torn apart, but now is not the time to act.

Vent and post, most of us here know your unique pain.

[canadianMrs.]

Okay. I'll stick to this one, hopefully the others will get lost over time.

Thanks. Its just so hard because he still never said he was sorry and he still insists this happened because we should never have been married in the first place. I told it happened because he is selfish....

[Lotus]

Ah, so he thinks it is the fault of fate, and you think it is his fault. Hmmm, I wonder why he is unwilling to agree.

[canadianMrs.]

I know I know.:) It was in the heat of the moment. He has acted pretty selfish these past months and I have been busy trying to work on myself and our marriage. He's been blaming me for our problems and never even said he was sorry for things he has done/said. I bought into it for awhile.

[seeking answers]

He has acted pretty selfish these past months and I have been busy trying to work on myself and our marriage. He's been blaming me for our problems and never even said he was sorry for things he has done/said.

All hallmarks of the typical MLCer. It's all about them. And everybody, but them is to blame for their miserable life.

Continue to work on your self and let H flap in the wind for a while.

You would be further ahead by repeatedly banging your head against the wall than trying to rationalize anything to a MLCer.

[dolphin_05]

Sorry won't come for a long, long time.

Work on you. Have no expectations of H.

[BeingMe]

So true, dolphin. The apologies are far into the future if you get them at all, canadianMrs. And, he will probably forget a lot of what he is saying and doing now.

Get yourself a life of your own. Find your passion .... take a class, work on improving your career if you have one, hang out with friends more, have fun with your children, travel, go to the gym. These are just examples, some of which I did too, like going back to school.

Give your H space ... detach. And know that this is not your fault. No matter what you may or may not have done in the M, he had no right to break his vows and go outside the M. That is his mistake.

This does sound like MLC. If it is, prepare for a long and difficult journey if you want to keep your M.