Lately there has been more and more comments from H about real life, our hurdles to jump yet, things about other people. One that still sticks with me was his comment about a female that kept her partner away and wouldn't let him close. Something about the way he said it made me wonder if he was refering to me.
I feel like I haven't been able to let my walls down and let H be close, at the same time wondering does he want to be close? I rethink the days when our R was new and H said he would be too shy to tell me his feelings and thoughts. Now to me H doesn't seem like a shy guy at all, but that's his interpretation of himself.
Time for another babystep of my own.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
WCW, It takes a while for things to become "normal" again and I can understand why your walls are still up. You and your h have come a long way and there is still some growing to do.
Listen to what your h is telling you about the situation w/the female and her partner. Maybe he is testing you to see how you will respond to the comments. He very well could be trying to see what your thoughts are about the subject and this is the only way that he can see what you are thinking. They can't come right out and ask you about such things while they are on the final lag of this long trip. They hint, they suggest, etc., because they are still "afraid" of what our responses may be.
Be gentle w/him just as you would a young colt. He's still insecure and has some growing up yet to do. One step at a time.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
snodderly, thanks for using scenarios I understand, like a young colt. Time and patience are still my friends. But I've had some aches and pains this week and it's brought out quick reactions to events that I wish I had stifled better. Ok, so I guess I'm not perfect. Yet. lol
jeff and cadet, I've wondered if H thinks I am the one with the MLC and he's just fine. Do you suppose they have those thoughts?
kat, you had the trip to rave about! yeah for you!
I hope all my cyber friends are safe from all the weather ripping apart the country.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
Two things to note to myself. Thursday has a tradition of being a bad day for me since that was always an ow day, and often H is still home late on Thursdays. Thursday morning I asked H to help me with something that evening, and I saw a twinge of 'bad' H. I left for work, and then realized it was Thursday. I pondered for awhile, and then sent H a txt that I forgot it was Thursday when I asked for his help and that I would getrdun. H was home early to help.
Today, H asked if I could get off work early to ride along on his day trip today. I couldn't make it, but I appreciated the offer.
I think for the time being H is 'piecing' better than I am. I am still stuck emotionally waiting for the things to fall apart and that I cannot believe we are making it.
I have to get off my butt and get ME back in this M or we won't make it. I got so comfortable being a single married person that I forget how to be a married married perosn.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
So true, about the married married person. Have a lovely weekend.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
I was at a store this weekend that H and I both frequent but not often together. The cashier recognized my name and asked if I was related to the guy that comes in with the big hat (H's cowboy hat), wondered if that was my dad or my husband.
H and I are only 5 years apart in age, and this cashier wondered if he was my dad???? too funny! I guess it's nice to know that H's MLC has aged him more than me. Or maybe it wasn't a very bright cashier.
We had a good weekend, and coming up H and I are going on a weekend trip - together. The first in a long time!
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
