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Joined: Nov 2010
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It has been awhile since I posted. Could moderators please post links, I am not sure how.

I have not posted for awhile just because there is nothing to post about.

The lighthouse is still lit, but I feel it getting dimmer.


H-40 W-38
Together-20
Married-12
boy-7 girl-3
bomb-9/17/10
No papers
live together
No affair
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,496
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What is happening new habit. You have been staying in the same house with your W and have not spoken?


BITS

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We are in same house still. Nothing other than small chit chat. Nothing worse, Nothing better.

There is just nothing happening, it is driving me nuts. Sitch is exactly the same as it was 5 months ago. Nothing is good I guess.


H-40 W-38
Together-20
Married-12
boy-7 girl-3
bomb-9/17/10
No papers
live together
No affair
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 1,050
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Better nothing happening than getting worse. Don't waver. Mine seems to be getting worse - and I am sure its because I couldn't hold in my resentament and anger and fall apart every 2 weeks or so.


Me:49 H:45 D:12 M:14 T:18
Bomb: 6/26/10
EA: 9/3/10, fizzled out slowly, now ???
11/5/11 Retrouvaille
Finally piecing....
Its peaceful at last, but we got a looong way to go
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I am not so sure. I see others have R talk, and sometimes it seems positive, and sometimes negative. My W and I do not talk about R. I feel like it is making it easier for her because she doesn't have to deal with anything.

I feel she is walking away looking over her shoulder stunned that it is really going to be this easy just to walk away.

I thought time was on my side, but she comes off to me as the longer it goes, the easier it is to accept her decision. Nothing is stopping her so she might as well procede.


H-40 W-38
Together-20
Married-12
boy-7 girl-3
bomb-9/17/10
No papers
live together
No affair
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 318
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Posts: 318
Sorry to hear that Habit.

I was just thinking about you, because I hadn't seen a post in a while.

My W's resolve is the same as yours, I honestly don't believe she is going to "come back. I don't really have any other options, so I'll keep or keepin on.

BITS
SIC


Me - 34
W - 33
M - 8 years
T - 15 years
D7, D5, D2
Bomb Nov 10/2010 "I'm not happy and INILWY"
W Staying for the kids Mar 13/2011
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I just can't take the not knowing anything anymore. I have no idea of what her plans are. I don't know which one of us is staying or going. I have know idea what her plans are for the kids. I have no idea what to expect, or what to prepare for.

I am not going to whine about this not being fair, but I have to have some sort of plan for my future. I cannot just make these plans without knowing from her what her ideas are.

I wish I could make plans without her, but it just doesn't work that way. She does have her share of control, as do I.


H-40 W-38
Together-20
Married-12
boy-7 girl-3
bomb-9/17/10
No papers
live together
No affair
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 209
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Hey Habit...

I am in the same place as you. Going on 15 months since the bomb and 2 months since I confronted her about her EA. I have no clue what she has in mind for us or her.

My only comfort is that I am keeping the family together for the benefit of the kids. There is no way that I will put them through the trauma of Divorce if I can help it. It [censored] and is painful, but it is a sacrifice that I am prepared to make. Based on what I have read, I have at least another 8 months of this while my wife leaves the fog of her EA.

I feel your pain and share your frustration. I don't see any progress but at least we are together and I can continue to show her that I am no longer that person she grew to dislike. Hang in there.

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Habit, I am in your same sitch except 2 months further along. I know it is hard but you have to stop caring so much about her actions. If you must know what the future holds then go file and get on with your life. I want to do that but am holding out hope for the sake of the kids. They are beginning to show the signs of wear and tear from the broken marriage and that hurts more than my wife turning her back on me. Take the kids and get away from her for the weekend. You will be amazed at how much better you feel just being out of the house.

Keep of the faith. I wish I cared as much as you do but at the this point I am over the relationship part of my marriage-just want the kids to be ok which is why I have not filed.


Me:44
Wife:41
S11: D14
married 20 years
bomb 7/25/2010
she filed 7/15/2011
headed for trial in early 2012
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 291
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Thanks Punchy and Troy.

Troy, I have been taking the kids away from her every weekend. I have really enjoyed all the time I have been having with the kids, but I am getting burnt out.

I work alone all day, everyday. Basically no human contact. I live in a very small town away from anything. Any friend contact might consist of an hour a week, maybe. For 5 months my only communication is with a 3 year old, and a seven year old, and it is killing me. It is like I am just sitting on the couch in a daze getting hit with those suction cup darts. I need some sort of adult interaction.


H-40 W-38
Together-20
Married-12
boy-7 girl-3
bomb-9/17/10
No papers
live together
No affair
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