Wow- what a journey this has been... and to be honest I don't think it is over.
When I started in with DB my goal.. 100% was to get my husband back. I loved him, missed him.. NEEDED him. This board - the book it was what I hoped to be my answer. Needless to say 4 years later I am divorced. My x is on his 2nd live in - and has had NUMEROUS girl friends.
What I didn't realize when starting this was that the GOAL of DBing was MORE about gaining ME and less about getting him back. Going dark, not pursing... were all things that were for ME - not tactics to be learned to get back the man who left.
I think -- no I am sure that it took me WAY to long to figure that out. I wanted an answer - a solution. AND ALL of hte suggestions were FANTASTIC.. but they were meant for ME and my healing.
NOw - 4 years later I can say it worked. NO I didn't get my x back. BUT I GOT ME. I GAINED a coupel really great new friends.. and I had a place that was SAFE for me to share EVERY horid detail and pain that I was experinecing.
So --- now it is time for me to say GOO-BYE. WIERD.
I am in such a great place. I am still single, but KNOW if I meet someone that I am ready. I am more complete as a woman then i have EVER been. AND I am better.
I would have loved to keep my family in tact.. but that was not my story.. I sue do hope it is yours. I hope you GROW and dont try and use the tools they give you as tactics
Thank you DB for a wonderful place for me go through the hardes thing in my life.
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
Praying GOD opens the doors wide open for you in this new chapter of your life.
Wishing you all the best!
Me: 40 H: 39 M: 17 yrs - Together 18 1/2yrs No kids Seperated: May 18, 2006 EA/Poss PA with OW for 6 months prior to leaving. 2nd Bomb dropped: Dec. 23, 2010
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
C, I wish you all of the best. Do come back to visit and let us know how you are doing.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
