If she is not, how are you going to show her what reality looks like?
This is what I am talking about - another question.
First let me explain what her fantasy looks like.
Bear in mind that she hates her mother for doing exactly what she's doing, except back then her dad was deployed and her mother told him "don't come home." W and little brother were about the same age as my kids. W is scarred and conflicted.
Her fantasy is: we live as brother and sister until kids are old "enough" to handle seperation. Meanwhile she continues to pursue R with OM. She keeps her home and swimming pool and kids and househusband/handyman and goes on jaunts to Ohio every couple of months to see OM.
Reality is: I will not live with her while she pursues a romance with OM - period.
And I will claim half of everything - as much as the laws of the state of Florida allow.
She's painted me into a corner Jack.
PS> It irks me that without exposure the kids will never fully understand why Pops (fill in the blank).
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
First of all, calm down. Everyone is trying to help you. There's no set rule of what you should or shouldn't do. That's up to you.
If you want to expose, go ahead. Have you thought of who you would expose to? If this is the route you intend to take, make sure you're protecting yourself because you don't know what kind of reaction she's going to have.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Your best advice comes from your DB Coach. First--s/he knows what questions to ask you, better than any of us on the board. Everyone also presents their story slightly differenlty.
Second--your DB Coach is an expert. 'Coach', and none of the other folks on the board are experts. Everyone has an opinion, but it doesn't make it right. Even when someone mentions they've tried something and it worked, their marriage may have been saved due to lots of things they did, not the thing they attributed it to. Again, your DB coach is the person best equipped to help you.
I think you get into trouble when you drag in the MLC as a key caveat that obscures all the particulars. It's the particulars that matter: stressors, ego-integrity, and so on.
I can't, for example, point to a wealth of recent logitudinal studies that support the actual existence of what you are calling a midlife crisis.
I can, on the other hand, point to studies like Susan Krauss Whitbourne's and many others that directly contradict popular assumptions (popular among the general public, but not so much with research Psychologists) supporting the midlife crisis as common feathre of adult development. In fact, pshychologists commonly regard that diagnosis and model as 'not helpful'.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-