I'm 43, married 24 years, 4 daughters (24, 19, 17, and 15). We were high school sweethearts.
STBX has/is continuing and oddball affair which he told me "ends only if M reconciles." Took me a long time to straighten my head out over that one!
Let him have it! I'm finally REGAINING my life. I HAD one before this stuff... and I'm claiming it back!! Work, kids, friends, a very nice special person in my life. It's hard because I have twice the responsibility now due to the kids... BUT... I realized that responsibilities can be dealt with and you can have a life as well.
Am dating a wonderful person. Very much the opposite of who my H is... personality-wise, outlook-wise, and attitude-wise. Don't know where this will go, but it's so far a very good thing... we get along quite well.
I'm 33, have one 4 year old daughter, dated for 3 years before marriage, married 1 month shy of 8 years, separated 1 1/2 years, divorced 6 months.
I still sometimes think about what happened, but mostly I miss the idea of being married rather than my xh. He is "happily" living with a co-worker whore. We had gone out with the whore and her now xh when we were all still married. He is still drinking daily and making a fool of himself - no longer my problem:) I've dated some, but mostly I am just enjoying every second on my D's life, and trying to focus on what's best for us:) I would love to meet someone...time will tell:)
I am 45. Met ex at age 16. Married him at age 19. Only man I've ever been with. Was married 25 years in June to a single man, and divorced in August. he moved out 05/01/02 and I filed that week. Wasband having affairs for a long time. Had 4 that I knew of, probably more looking back now over the years. He went back and forth trying to decide between his wife and his last 2 whores, for 4 years. I filed. Had enough.
No SO in my life but I am open to the idea. I miss the company of a man, but if it doesn't happen, I'm OK with me. I can live with myself. I can look myself in the mirror everyday and go to sleep every night knowing that I didn't create this insanity that is his problem in every sense of the word. No, I wasn't perfect, but I was a good wife and he's going to have to look far and wide to find someone who cares for him and loves him like I did. Of course judging from the circles he looks in, he may never find a good woman. His loss totally.
Last week I paid him off and bought him out of the house. It is now my house. And that's a very good feeling. We are filing taxes jointly this year, and then we're on our own after that.
My kids are 23 and 19. My daughter (19) lives at home with me and is going to college. Son is in the navy and is married. I travel with my job, and I travel for leisure. Life is pretty good right now. But, it would be fun to have someone to share the good times with.
My best friend is now going through this same stuff with a new twist, her stbx is an addict who cheated on her, and of course all the lies and stealing that goes along with not wanting to face ones addictions. Well, she was there for me, and I am there for her. You cannot get through this without a core team of angels. My turn in the angel role.
I am 47. married 10 years 11/14/03, WAW 4� years ago, S15 from a previous marriage, D9, D9 (not twins, 6 weeks apart, one is S15's half-sister from my ex & one of her BFs). W back in house w/OM for 6 weeks now. One big happy (or at least attempting to be for now) family.
-J Is the glass half full or half empty? Depends. Am I drinking or pouring?
41 with 2 S's in custody 5&7. W asked me to mobve out summer of 99. Divorced Jan of 2000. She is now living with a different guy then the one she finally moved out for when I moved back in. 1/2 my pension and savings gone but I have kids and she pays support(not enough, just another year ). Met a woman younger with 12 yo son but she wants wayyy too much of my time anad when I can't give it to her she bitches. After another failed attempt, I kicked her to the curb.
All in all, life is happy, life is grand when your D@#k is in your hand..!! LOl Ron
I'm 40. I was married for 13 years, no kids. X was a serial philander and by the time I found this BB, I was no longer interested in reconciliation, just wanted help and support survivng the big D.
I have others in my life but none of real significance at this time. I am enjoying meeting lots of people amd doing the stuff that I never had time to do when I was married. I think I need this time for me...I am reluctant to go right from the fire to the frying pan.
I'm 28, married at 25 xh was 30 and already in some kind of mid life tantrum (couldn't keep up with the jonses his age - wanted the house, kids, career, etc NOW) Dated about a year.
Marriage was good for about 3 months then he realized marriage didn't bring the automatic happiness he was looking for. His father died and pushed him farther in. 6 mo into marriage he told me he thought he could do better. Hung on for another year before he moved out. Separated and DBd for another year - the last 6 months of which I only saw him 2 or 3 times. Poked his head up long enough in October 2002 to give me the papers and say he didn't care to try any more. Haven't seen him since (5 months)
I never saw my 3rd anniversary. No kids thank goodness, but a few of the guys I have been out with have them. I'm still confused about what all went wrong with the marriage. Just waiting now to see what the future brings next.
What a diverse group of people here. Two things that appear similar is that the D process seems to take a rather large toll; before, during, and after. The other is that this forum (and the board in general) seems to consist mostly of the "left-behinds". I wonder why that is? Are there boards for the walk-aways (my guess would be yes & I would love to stumble across one). Or are there deeper reasons? It would make for some interesting research.
I remember in Michelle's book, a statement that most WAS' choose that path because they feel it is the easiest path. I would love to find out if that notion holds true after its all said & done though.
Divorce is a horrible process, but I believe things happen for a reason & if we don't close our eyes or shirk responsibility, then ultimately, even us left-behinds will finish the process on the upside.
Me: 46 Ex: 38 Married: 10 Together: 12 No Children Separated (again): 09/06/13 Divorced: 02/27/15
I doubt the leavers have a similar messageboard. I know some search out help but many are in the situation they are in because they can't / or won't look for help.
I'm back after a windows upgrade.
I'm 43 but feel like 30 again. Seperated 2 years ago, divorced for 1 year. EX remarried so closure there. 9 yr old daughter who I have 50% custody of.
Life is pretty good after a lot of work on me. Very excited about life again and doing things I've always wanted to do. Very hesitant to enter into anything right now partly because of not wanting to give up the freedom I'm enjoying so much now and yes probably because it's a little scary. No urgency to be "with" anyone as I am very happy the way things are now. Not looking and not worried about it - for now anyway.
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