Me: 31 Husband: 31 Married: 10YRS Son: 10 Daughter: 7 Together: since we were 15 Husband left: June 11th and moved things out in August
Hello, I am new here and thought I would share my story as input would be great. I have watched my husband sink into depression further and further for the past two yrs. He has drank hisself stupid and wants to go play with his friends and go to the bars all the time. The last time he didnt come home till last call I told him to leave if he was so unhappy. He did and did not come back. Two yrs ago we both lost our jobs, house, and everything that we had. He also hit a deer on our harley and almost died due to drinking and driving. All he wanted to do towards the end is drink and play. He still hangs with my family and our friends. He is close to my dad and I am close to his mom. He is renting a house from my dad that is across the street from my gramma. We are taking care of the kids as a team and sharing and that is going well. The communication is almost daily but never about our relationship. All I hear if it is about our marriage is that I am a good woman and should move on and that he is unhappy and doesnt know why. He has said he wants a divorce cause it would never be like it was now but has not done anything towards making that happen at all. I have talked with someone and know my options but I dont want this and if I can do anthing to save my marriage I will. He is the only one I have ever been with and feel like this is all happening for a reason. He holds all emotion in so I feel like all the bad is just in him boiling. He wont talk to anyone as far as a therapist cuz there is no way he is depressed according to him. He is extremly grouchy at work and doesnt really care about anything anymore at all. Everything he does and says is out of character. I dont beleive its another woman as everyone we know we know together or is my family. It is possible but my gut is telling me he is miserable and just doesnt know why or how to fix it. I think he thought or may still think its our life but hasnt figured out he is more miserable than ever. I have been trying to do things for myself and finding me as I dont think I have ever been just me. He is losing his hair and growing a beer belly and that was really bothering him also. I just dont know what to think or how to fight this. I feel so helpless. I really miss him and our lil family. Doing my best to put on a happy face and only show the pain when the kiddos are in bed. I have lots of support but they all know us or are divorced so the ones I really need are negative most of the time. I am hoping to gain some encouragement here. I have read the divorce remedy and have been doing everything wrong so switching that all up right away. God give me strength.
Thanks for reading and hope to hear what you think.
Welcome to Newcomers you did post your story a number of times here. There can be more than one page of posts, and it is possible that it is not showing up right away because of moderation. Once you have more posts it will show up right away.
If you click on your name in the future and hit show all posts you can find all of a persons posts. You can also show which topics they have started. Now that you have this thread try to keep, one thread until it reaches 100 posts then you can start a new one.
I will look over your other posts and see if I can add anything.
Thank you for responding. Today was our first holiday apart. I spent the day with family at my grandmas and he rents he the house across the street from her. He talked to my cousin and said he was working. he called my cuz when he got home and he walked the kids over to see him and my daughter made him a plate of food. so crazy all of this. i try to be as upbeat andpositive at all times.
kids r so smart tho. like on the way to grammas me and the kids are singing to the radio and out of nowhere my daughter tells me (shes 7) to not think about dad. i said what? and she said i thought about him too for a minute. you was thinkin about daddy right? I just am honest as i can be at all times and said yes. I asked how she knew and she said you was doin this and made a funny look on her face. so sometimes i slip. the kids ask to pray at night before bed and they take turns praying that dad will be happy again and come home. breaks my heart.
I love read and am gonna start going to barnes and noble, drink starbucks and read my nook. I got my nose pierced cuz i have always wanted to but he never liked it. i love my job and playin with the kids. we have been going skating and just trying to keep them busy and me doing fun family things. sometimes we will go to movies.
just taking one day at a time,sure wish i didnt think about him all the time. how are you all doing? I know everyone here is hurting and whoever is reading this I am praying for you. Life should be happy and it will be again. everything happens for a reason. i do beleive that. if stuff like this didnt happen then we would take for granted all of the good in life. I am thankful for what I do have. Its still an awful lot moer than some have.
Ok the above is one of your posts from the DR forum
I added some carriage returns to the quote.
If you could hit the carraige return it will make it a little easier to read.
Your D7 is quite observant and it is not unusual for kids to see right thru everthing to see the truth.
Keep posting and asking questions. The #1 person you must take care of right now is YOU! Then your D7!
Wow! My posts duplicated way too many times. Oops. I have read the book. Such good info. I am going tomorrow to get a new classy hardo. Never done short bfore cuz h likes long hair so gonna go short. I am bringing out the classy career woman. My son started crying and says he wants me to leave it the way it is. He is ten. I need to do it for sure now otherwise he will think he is the boss. Think he is worried h won't come back if I change myself. I need to do this for me tho. I am just now trying to let him initiate contact and no more begging. Such a degrading feeling. I wuld do anything to have him want to be happy again. If its meant to be right? I feel like I am a patient person. Its nice to be able to type how I feel. How are u? I'm carrying on and since ur here I assume ur lifes a bit off kilter too? Thanks for listening: )
Jewells. Start going to Al-anon meetings. They will help you. You can't fix the marriage until he puts down the bottle. That has to be the first goal. If he can't get past that, then he is right, you need to find a new husband.
I am going tomorrow to get a new classy hardo. Never done short bfore cuz h likes long hair so gonna go short.
The changes that you make are for YOU. They are to make YOU the best YOU can be.
They are not to win him back or to trick him. The new hairdo sounds like a great idea. Keep looking for things that you can 180 to make yourself a better YOU. Take care of yourself! And BOTH kids.
Thanks for asking about me but I am fine! No matter how my marriage turns out. I am going to be the best I can be. I will be doing it for ME! For my kids.
That is what you need to do too.
You can come here anytime and read or VENT! We will listen and try to give you some advice. It is a great place to write down your thoughts.
EeI am doing the changes for me only. I have so much to b thankful for. I took daughter and did nails and eyebrows, I got my new do and then took son to dinner for some one on one time. He's ten. Had a great day, I feel good and kids had fun. H sent son a text askin if he wanted to go watch high school wrestling and devin said no me and mom have plans. He never wrote him back. I really don't know where all his selfisness is coming from. I have decided to take charge of my life, find out who I am and see what happens. I have a great career and lots of suppotrt. If he does not want to share my life any longer it is his loss. He is envied of his life and has all the things important or what I think r important. I hope he figures it out. He's a wonderful man and have faith (most days). I am gonna go to barnes and noble tomorrow, read my nook, and drink starbucks. I'm excited. Spread my wings and fly.
