Yes, I agree PB and FMV. I Must Have patience. We are having Thanksgiving at our house, Everyone is cool with it except her brother and she said F-him. Its really his super opinoinated W who thinks we should stay apart.Oh well. Hope they never have issue's. Other than that all is going well. We are spending good time together and talking. We still have to go back to Co, Its just a busy time. She is staying at the house all weekend as I am going as her date to her S's wedding. We are watching his son Sat morning and taking him to the wedding in a little Tux! He is 4. Should be fun!!
Its really his super opinoinated W who thinks we should stay apart.Oh well. Hope they never have issue's.
I'd hazard a guess here, that they probably are/have... isn't that usually why people get so 'hooked' into these BIG reactions or opinionated-ness (is that a word!?) about other people's situations?! Could be that it touched a nerve for her?
(Just a consideration... I've found that considering other possible motivations like this for when people 'act out' has helped me keep from taking their negative behavior personally, so thought I'd suggest in case it helps.)
Have a lovely Thanksgiving and enjoy the wedding.
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
Hey FMV, The wedding was great as was Thanksgiving! At the wedding folks in her family came up to me and told me that they were glad I was there and her cousin said she missed me after only 8 weeks! LOL. We danced and had a great time, spent 5 days together, not one fight or cross word. She told me she is happy but we still need to go see the Co. I have to call today! I have nagging questions in my head like "how could you leave me?" And why did you hook up with a guy? I may never have clear answers but I need respect! I have no real idea how she see's me as a person that should have that respect?
Well, things are moving on here. We booked a cruise with some friends in april and are making plans for future. we see the Co next Thurs to work on not letting this happen again. 1st Co session together as we had seen him seperatly. I'm not sure if I should bring up her infidelity at this point but I am still hurt about it. I just don't get it?
I'm not sure if I should bring up her infidelity at this point but I am still hurt about it. I just don't get it?
I think it varies from couple to couple, and timing plays a role. What would be your intent? Would it help in your Piecing efforts? In my situation, my W speaks about the OM, but keeps herself out of it (third person). That's as close as she's going to get at this time. Our R is probably not at a point where it's safe to talk about it in detail. She talks about the past in general, but not in detail--too emotional I assume.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
Well, things are moving on here. We booked a cruise with some friends in april and are making plans for future. we see the Co next Thurs to work on not letting this happen again. 1st Co session together as we had seen him seperatly. I'm not sure if I should bring up her infidelity at this point but I am still hurt about it. I just don't get it?
Morning AT, because my sitch is different (no A) I can't say whether or not you should bring it up in a joint counselling session. However, I have to encourage you that if you're hurting, you really need to talk about it. Don't judge yourself for hurting or try to sweep it under the rug.
Please do book yourself an individual session with your IC so that you can feel free to say and express your true feelings without worrying about what your W will say or how she'll take it.
I've learned through my own experiences that not talking about the things that hurt us can create such damaging longterm effects in our lives... Your IC can help you feel what you need to and learn how to deal with those negative emotions in a productive and healthy way.
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
Thanks Concerned, My W is the same way.Almost like she is disconnected from the whole thing. Does not even refer to the guy. I don't think there are any real answers. It was a very short affair a couple weeks and I think she realized pretty quick after the booze wore off that the guy was a loser!
I have talked about it with the Co but I guess I still don't get why she would run to another guy so quick to make her self feel better? That's really sad.
On another note yesterday for the first time since she moved in Sept she mentioned moving back in again. I was very surprised at that. We are getting along great and we are going to visit her brother and his W this weekend. The W does not like me but she is a big Lib so we butt heads. Thinks W should have stayed away for good. Opps sorry!!
Have not posted in a while. Things are good, she has been slowly moving stuff into the house. Mostly bathroom type items as she stays home alot. We spend alot of time together and the spark is back. She talks of moving back home when her lease is out and we have plans for vacations. Things are looking up more and more, every day!
Hey CL, I hear you. She still says she was stupid and drinking did not help. As we are not living together right now and see each other on weekends we have fun, talk alot. All is pretty good all in all. She says she loves me all the time and we do alot together. time heals all I guess..
