Yes, I did tell you so. I realize that you don't think I know what I am talking about, but you are wrong. I have been doing this for a long long long time and have found that some people just have to find out their own way.
Your answer all along has been to move out, get your own place, leave her alone and start dating others immediately. She told you that she wants you out a long time ago and I did tell you that just because you weren't talking about it didn't mean she changed her mind. One of the problems with the advice you will get on this site, is that moving out is a mistake. How WRONG they are about that advice. Sometimes it is EXACTLY what is needed and WORKS. I rarely see a relationship get back on track when the guy stays with a Wayward. Can you show me all the success stories of spouses on here who didn't separate that are reconciled and happy. There are very few. Very few.
I have been here all along to guide you in the correct direction. The correct direction is to leave or have her leave. It is the only true way to get their respect. She has been playing you all along.
Yes, I did tell you so. I realize that you don't think I know what I am talking about, but you are wrong. I have been doing this for a long long long time and have found that some people just have to find out their own way.
Gucci, you can't say that because you don't that. In fact I have no reason to doubt that you know what you're talking about.
Now, if you called me a coward for not having guts to move before, I'd agree. You can also call me naive for letting her play me for all these months.
I may have been codependent because I love my pets. They are everything to me. I spent a night in a hotel and that was enough to make me miss them incredibly. My dogs are my true love and companions. She has chosen to go different route.
My pets were there for me when she was not. To leave them has been my issue. I know they were up all noght by the window waiting for me...
Pook, I have read the last few pages of the posts here.
While I don't consider myself a vet I did see some things in your posts. Your W did state she feels you are smothering her. I know your still living together and I'm sure it's hard to have NC with her.
Until you move out I would suggest that you tell your W that you are going out and she needs to take responsiblity for the dogs, house ....whatever needs to be taken care of.
If she brings up any talk of future events pertaining to the two of you, you need to state you will not be apart of it. She said you two weren't a couple. So don't do couple things.
Start looking for places to live. Your home life is toxic.
My thoughts on the Mr Z. situation is what reputation are you protecting?? If you confront the situation how is that bad for you?? As I see it you are a man with morals and won't tolerate infidility with your W. Not to mention if the two of them are having an A, what's the code of conduct from your employer?
Start living life for you, don't worry about W. GAL. Hope you casn get somethign from this. gr8
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
One of the problems with the advice you will get on this site, is that moving out is a mistake. How WRONG they are about that advice. Sometimes it is EXACTLY what is needed and WORKS. I rarely see a relationship get back on track when the guy stays with a Wayward. Can you show me all the success stories of spouses on here who didn't separate that are reconciled and happy. There are very few. Very few.
I have been here all along to guide you in the correct direction. The correct direction is to leave or have her leave. It is the only true way to get their respect. She has been playing you all along.
Have to agree with the great Gucc on this point...while my sitch isn't ideal, moving out woke up my W
M-43 FWW-42 T 20 M 16 DD10 DD8 EA: 1/10 Informal separation: 6/11/2010 Headed for D: 7/6/2010 Piecing? 9/10/10
I said "I need to come home tonight fo a change of clothes. I don't want any more spew and disagreements. I have decided to leave. I will do that because that's what you want. It is painful for me to see you unhappy. It is more painful to see myself as a cause of your misery than it is for me to lose my family. I will leave so our "kids" can stay happy in the house they grew up in. I will leave because that is what a man with strong morals inegrity and honor would do. I wish you well."
It's done. Sigh...
Killing some time before heading home. Need to appear strong as I know it will bring me to tears to see her. Not because self pity but because empathy for her.
Hang tough Pookie. Moving out actually makes it a bit easier, after the first week or so anyway. Much less tension. You don't have to see her every day. Just don't sit around at home by yourself. It will make you nuts! Go find things to do and friends to talk to. Come to the new place and post your thoughts.
Just a light 2x4. You shouldn't have told her that you were moving out because that's what SHE wants. You should be moving out because it's what YOU want. That whole message you sent was a pretty strong pity party. She's not going to want to go back to that.
Stay strong and take things one day at a time.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
