It's Over, and I want to Move On!

[LSG]

It is funny how things have changed since coming here. I had hoped that if I tried hard enough, I could have saved my marriage and my family.

I still wish things could have turned out differently. I will keep positive about my new life with me and the kids. I am okay, but I have a lot of healing to do.

I did a lot wrong before I found this compassionate website, and I made a lot of friends here too.

I plan to be here on occassion to check in and pass some of the lessons I have learned onto others.

I have high praise for so many on this site. I appreciate so many of you so much for being there for me. You know who you are. I do not want to single anyone out and forget someone. You are truly an amazing group of people that have faced so much heartache, but it will be okay.

Keep you dreams of a better life. It will be okay for everyone.

[dbmod]

Hi LSG,

Thanks for staying in touch. I hope you are very successful in your job. Use your DB skills there as well, and in your relationship with your STBX over the kids. If something isn't working, do something different, and if it isn't broke, don't fix it. You seem to be a very a good person.

It's very easy to get a closed heart after divorce, especially if a spouse had an affair. You don't seem to be in that place, you seem to have an open heart, even though you want to wait to get into a relationship (very wise).

We're here for you.

[LSG]

Hi dbmod,

My job is going well, and my harrassment case is settled. I will get caught up on the bills, and my divorce should be final this February. I still have mixed emotions over the divorce, but I am trying to move on. I was an unsuccessful DBer, but I hope to be successful in life from what I have learned here and my experiences through this tough time in my life.

I do appreciate the kind words. I hope I will open my heart completely someday, but I need to adjust and take control of my life for me and the kids at the moment.


I do plan to stay in touch, but I don't know my place here anymore. I just have to find out where I am in my life.

I hope my story helps someone here.

I hope some good will come from it.

Thanks for the kind words!

[dbmod]

LSG--

It will be helpful. You are welcome to stay here, and you might like the Surviving the Big D forum. It's a lively/fun and supportive group.

[idontunderstand]

LSG -

Hey, Bro. I'm so glad to hear things are going well for you. I don't post much anymore but you are always in my thoughts and prayers.

My job is going well, and my harrassment case is settled. I will get caught up on the bills, and my divorce should be final this February. I still have mixed emotions over the divorce, but I am trying to move on. I was an unsuccessful DBer, but I hope to be successful in life from what I have learned here and my experiences through this tough time in my life.

While you may not have been able to save your M, you are a success story! Go back and read your old posts and see how much you have grown! What you have learned during this whole mess will mold you into a better person who is better equipped to handle anything life throws at you. You have been down and picked yourself back up and not only survived, but you are thriving!

You are living proof that we will all be okay no matter what. How are the kids doing? I am sure you are doing your part in making this as painless as possible on them. I am still afraid of what a D would do to mine. All I know is that I love them more than life itself and will do the best I can by them. And I know you feel the same way.

Please do stay in touch and don't be a stranger! Let me know how you are doing. Details!

Always here for you, man!

IDU

[LSG]

Hi IDU,

How are you? I hope all is well.

My kids are doing okay, but they seem to have some issues with their mom. They don't like that there are no toys there to play with. They bring their things to my place, and my daughter e-mails me all the time. My son and daughter are not brought by anymore by mom. The kids say is very strict too.

I guess they are adjusting to the situation. I have my fine court hearing next week, and I will be divorced. That is sure not what I wanted when I came here. I could have done better, but I am managing my life now.

I hope "newbies" learn from my mistakes.

[LSG]

IDU,

I feel the same way about my kids, and it is good place to focus on through out these difficult situations.

Job is going okay. Life is okay, and I chose not to date while I did feel a connection with this young lady recently, but I am still technically married, and I will keep my committment to the end of this whole mess. I will have to deal with her while the kids are growing up, so I have to be somewhat positive.

I am rambling, but I do want to keep in touch from time to time.


Take care of yourself.

Glad to hear from you.

[idontunderstand]

LSG -

Glad to hear you are doing well. I hope your job and life are more than "okay". I know that it takes time to heal all of the wounds from this mess. I know things will be better for all of us than just "okay", eventually.

I understand your committment to your M vows. At least you know, after the D is final, that you do have some options out there. You are an intelligent, interesting guy and have much to offer the right young lady.

Love those kids with all of your heart and be the rock that they need you to be as this transition continues for them. We mourn the loss of their innocence and the fact that we "failed" to protect them. At least, that's how I feel. But, it wasn't your choice to tear the family apart. Talk to them and listen to them. Be honest and truthful with them. Most of all, love them and hold them. Show them what it means to grow into a loving, responsible adult who has healthy boundaries and one who stands tall and meets life's challenges head on and does the best that he can with honor and dignity.

Take care, LSG. And please, keep in touch!

[Chuck66]

Good to see all the old folks on here again. I was an unsuccessful DBer too and my final court date is last week in Feb. Not where I wanted to be either.

[LSG]

Hi Chuck,

It is final since February 9, 2011, and I am a divorced guy.

I really do not even want anything to do with the ex. It is very different when all I wanted to was save my marriage.

I still have long way to go in my life, but I have made some small steps forward.

I am doing taxes with her today. Fun, fun, fun!

The affair is still going on, and he is still married.

I think she has more problems to come than me. I am at least let time heal my heart, soul, mind, and body from this experience.

I have learned alot here.