Current thread MIA - here's the 4th

[Mystik]

As for me counter filing under A, I'm standing firm on this. H ended M due to A. H filed irretrievable breakdown - as if we just couldn't get along or something. H & I know that the real reason is A. I have no intention of letting H off the hook. He did it, he needs to own it. The whole pattern is indicative of a larger pattern of H shirking responsibility.

I allowed H to steam roller all my boundaries over the course of the R/M. Now I'm unwilling to do it.

I hear ya. That is what I am trying to decide. Stand my ground about not letting him off the hook, or let him continue to walk all over me.

[Vulcanized]

Not one, but two dreams about wayward H last night. Woke up sweaty and shaky from both. H coming toward me, saying 'I'm sorry' and me pushing H away saying 'no, you're not sorry, you're sorry you got caught'.

Meanwhile, in RL, friend who left her H to have A & move in w/OM, is asking how to get her H back. I'm talking to her to (maybe) get some insight as to where cheating H may possibly be. Her saying 'I can never forgive myself' & 'H is the only person I've ever trusted/loved'. Me: thinking, cop-out.

Also, in RL: H trying to friend my RL friends/coworkers on FB. Wtf??? I've blocked H, H has blocked me, OW has blocked me, I blocked her. So ... what gives???

[Mystik]

Hmm... Maybe he's trying to spy on you? I dream about H all the time it seems, and each dream makes me feel worse than I already do. Wouldn't it be nice if we could make the dreams stop?

[Vulcanized]

Hey M,

Don't know wtf his aim is. Can't be bothered to care or try to figure it out.

As for the dreams, the last one was on my bday. Last few days have been rough. Keep crying, and coming back to the thought that the only thing I can do is D H. Not what I want to do, but what I have to do. Sigh.

[Vulcanized]

Talked to my L today. Apparently, I have to sue my H to get my winter clothes/coats from the house. WTF????

Was so angry/distraught that I took a walk to work (i.e. bar) to get my head together. In the interim, got nice & loaded so as to not put a butcher knife thru H.

RL friends saying this is another power play on H's part. Me = H, you got what you want, leave me be.


Angry and drunk. And not calling H on his B.S. behavior. Sigh.

[Vulcanized]

Hungover today , but did not call H & give him the angry outburst that he so richly deserves.

RL friends are saying that H is trying to provoke a reaction, so as to have something, anything to use against me in court. RL friends saying that H is unsure about this and his crap behaviour is indicative of his waffling.

I'm unsure what any of this means and am so drained by all of this. I'm trying to live as best as I can w/o H in the future. Meaning: going forward w/the knowledge that H is the PAST and NEVER going to be part of the future. Feels like I make some progress, and somehow H manages to climb under my skin.

At some point, this has to get better??? Ugh.

[gr8 day 2B alive]

(((Vulc)))


Don't play into the games. Maybe H is starting to have second thoughts, that's why he's looking to make friends with your friends on FB? Who knows.

If you have been dark and H is trying to get a reaction from you, don't give into your urges to explode! I know it's hard.

Stay strong with what you need from the D. Keep moving forward.

TTYS gr8

[Mystik]

Just keep on keepng dark. Is there any way you can just replace the winter clothes? I know it's a huge loss, and in a way letting H win but is the alternative, suing him, any better?

[Vulcanized]

Hey Gr8,

I don't know or care what H's motives are. My goal is to remain focused on moving forward and not giving H any sort of reaction or attention.

Been having a rough week, breaking down sobbing daily. I know it; H does not. And he never will.

Thanks for your kind words.

[Vulcanized]

Hi M,

L told me we have to go to court for a few things: support, my clothing and health insurance. H's L is not responding to my L. I assume H is not responding to his L. Or just being a spiteful jerk.

I went and got some winter things yesterday. If I lose the clothes, so be it. But the support and insurance I'm not backing down on.

H wants this to go all his way: he gets the house, the dog, my engagement ring, the $$$ and I walk away w/nothing and continue being his friend. He has actually said this to me, more than once. I say no way and the court is probably going to enforce that as well.

Staying dark isn't a problem. I want to be as far away as possible. The man is toxic to my sanity.