I understand what you are saying, I don't want to divorce, I want my wife and family back, but how long do I let this situation continue for my sanity?
Yes I've GAL, I'm having a great time in general, free to do what I want, when I want, I see my kids loads, and I'm really appreciating them and the time I have with them more than ever, they love being with me, so I'm happy that they are happy.
But there is still a sadness in me over my wife, I love her, I always have and always will love her, but I cannot control her, she has to decide what she wants.
So what do I do, do I wait for her to tell me its over, or wait for her to comeback?, obviously I want her back, but thats out of my hands.
I do sense a softening in our conversation yesterday, she mentioned I had hurt her, I agreed, I know I have, but she never mentioned D, never has, she asked do I want the kids more, she knows I do, so the kids have obviously told her how happy they are with me, it's very small steps, but they are in the right direction, I hope?
She knows I love her, I haven't told her, but she knows, and I know she truely loves me, there has just been a lot of hurt along the way, and I lost my direction, but now I know what I want, I know what I have to do about me, I'm getting there, she knows there is a change in me, the kids are seeing that, and she will know from them, I just have to keep it up and hopefully we will get there together.
If she says that's it, I will get on with it, hold my head up and move on, but I'm kidding myself if I think thats what I want at this time.
I got asked on a date yesterday from somebody I know, who I told what had happened, she doesn't know my wife, I just bumped into her out shopping. She is very attractive, and a great person, but i said no, because if my wife asked me to try and work on us I would, and until I can truely say I'm finished with her totally, I will not date anybody, even though it was tempting.
So for now I continue looking at me, what can I do to improve me, and what makes me happy, thats all I can control.
