Allen, well eventually she showed the remorse, although not all at once, certainly not in the mourning period, and it wasn't an easy ride at the start, during, or even now.
She refers to that time now as a period where she wasn't quite sane, and quite literally. When we had both recovered from the most intense period somewhat, I asked her why she took certain risks, including sending our version of the NC letter via COMPANY email (she works for a large bank and OM is a top client). I'll always remember the way she replied, in an almost incredulous tone: "Yes of course it was crazy to do that, but I wasn't sane then, was I?" - with a silent (DUH!).
Oh, and I just remembered something that isn't so much shocking as funny in an ironical way. Past exposure and confrontation, W was at the mourning stage where she missed her true soulmate (OM) but was trying to stay for the kids. As she put it "Deep, it's not like I can't stand your face, I guess I can be not too unhappy living with you." That 6-9 months was bonesplinteringly painful. Which was when I got close to an OW of my own, a friend who found out about her H's cheating 1 week after I told her about my W, and threw him out within 3 days. Cutting a very long and complex story short, she was talking to me every day and flew out to meet me when I travelled for a business trip (she apparently had a sudden business trip that cropped up there too). No, we never did anything physically sexual. Yes, as Sandi and others hammered home, I was guilty of an EA, which is inexcusable too.
Anyway the funny part was how much this really ATE W up. Call it the extreme Gucce/Robx scenario or whatever but it probably helped burn her fog big time. Besides kicking up hell, she brought it up at many post-Retrouvaille CORE meetings, and more than once she said "Yes, it was really, really hurtful, but more than that, it was REALLY stupid. I can't believe that after all we went through, and what we shared, that Deep could actually put himself in a position to risk everything we built, and jeopardise our marriage and family."
Me 42 W 39 Married: 11 Jan 1998, T: Since 1992 First Bomb: Sep 2007 Confirmed A/OM: 4 Nov 2007 Kids: D10, S5 Reconciled and together again after (alot of) time and heartbreak. 3rd kid, S, born 2 Jan 2010.
Originally Posted By: JoJo's circus Mine most shocking statement was I had told H no contact, or gifts to EA OW and when he sent her a birthday card and I found out and confronted him. the fool that he was at the time said, it was only a card and I guess I forgot I wasn't supposed to do that.
"Your Honor, I forgot, that armed robbery, was a crime!"
-- Steve Martin _________________________
Puppy, LOL Hadn't been on in a while and saw this, can't stop laughing!
Allen, Pathetic excuse for sure. That is why it shocked me so much as it is such a lame a$$ excuse that I can not beleive for a minute that the words could even venture from his mouth or that he thoguht I could be that gullible. What on MLC A$$.
He quit his job 2 weeks ago and seems much happier not sseeing fantasy OW any longer. Time will tell.
Last edited by JoJo's circus; 08/30/1006:29 PM.
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
Ok, here we go....one night in the middle of W's A, before I knew for sure it was an A, W went out "with Friends" after work. She assured me she'd be home by 5 so we could do something as a family......
When she came rolling in about 9:00, I kind of lost my cool (this had happened many Friday nights in a row) and asked her if this was her idea of what a marriage was supposed to be like...
She kind of looked away and I said "What does marriage mean to you?" And she said.....wait for it....
"Trust and Fidelity".
That was about 15 minutes after leaving OM's apartment where she went for her Friday boink.
Me - 49, W 49 S22 & S18 Dday 9/4/07 W claims NC 4/7/08 8/29/09 - Divorce Busted. Lots to work through, but we're going to make it.
Finding their "love journal" in the trunk of H's car (they used it to write their "love story" to each other). Gross.
Finding movie tickets in the laundry to a movie I didn't go to (after we'd been slowly making progress on recovery and just returned from family vacation). The conversation went like this:
Me: What did you do Sunday? H: Nothing, ran errands. Me: Hmmm... didn't go to a movie? H: Uhhh... oh yeah, I did. Me: Who did you go with? H: Who do you think I went with? Me: OW. H: Why do you think that? Me: Because you're giving no reason to think otherwise. H: Oh yeah... I did. Me: Click (me hanging up phone)