Cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it

[ImprovedRomeo]

<--- hey check out my new screen name

My draft response:


I'm sure you told them but they already went to the house to turn the water off. Luckily the guy noticed that the house was occupied so he left a note on the door which we found when we got home. Anyway, it's all taken care of.

I also called trash, paid the balance due and then had them switch it to my name which will be effective Aug 4th.

You can come over and pack up your stuff. I doubt it'll be more than a couple of boxes, if that, outside of the furniture items.

There's no need for throwing two parties and also doing a family cake/dinner for DD's b.day. So go ahead and do your party thing. On the day of her b.day we'll take her some place (animal farm unless that's where you're seting up the party?), have dinner, cut the cake and give her presents from us.

I'm well aware that divorce is a qualifying event to make changes to the health plan. However, the issue for me is that the health costs have gone up and I don't have a need for the PPO plan (which is no longer available anyway). So again the question is when do you qualify to get the insurance through your employer? If you stay on my plan then you'll have to pay for it.

I'll call the co-parenting counselor to get her rates and some more details.

Thanks.

[NoLongerHere]

Hey - IR - new thread, new name! Cool beans -

I have admittedly not been spending much time on the board lately, but wanted to say hello and say sounds like you've got your head on right. Good goals, and yeah I right there with you guys in trying to increase emotional stability. Important stuff.

OK gotta go to a meeting - stay strong!

[soleil]

Cool new name, Romeo.

The insurance thing -- gah. Divorce. It's weird reading stuff like that "you can take me off your health plan." It's just like, BAM, it/this really happened, you know?

My H is still using my dental and every so often they call me for his appointments - to confirm. Mmm.

[newmama]

I like the email. I think you are getting the hang of this stuff, IR!

[Gardener]

Romeo,

Here's her response:There is really no way I can come over with movers and pack little things at the same time they are supposed to be moving. It just doesnt' work that way. So either I can come over and pack the little things and have the movers get them with the furniture, that might work better. I will make sure to get some boxes to use and let me know when I can come over to pack little things. Then after I know how many boxes I will call the movers. They will come over and pick up the stuff and I don't need to be there, I'll just wait for it at my house since I'll probably have DD.
I'm fine with having a small dinner or lunch with DD on her bday along with some cake. Either you can buy something or I can make it, doesn't matter. Just let me know what time and where you want to meet. If you want to drop her off on Sunday to spend the day/night with me, that works for me too.
I am still having a party for her but it might also be a good idea to have a school party too. She always likes that.
You can remove me from your healthcare plan when the divorce is finalized. You will be able to make the change at any time outside of enrollment period as it's considered a qualifying event.
Sure on the co-parenting thing. We can try her.
Please don't forget to call the water company to put your name on the bill. They said they have to shut off the water and get a turn on notice. They are open 7-4 and the number is xxx and I told them to wait a few days to let you call in.

Seems to me like a win for you all around. I think you were direct and she acquiesced.

[whatisis]

You've got her trained now, Romeo! Good work

[ImprovedRomeo]

Thanks guys, it's been a busy few days. On Fri my boss and I decided to do a bbq for the team at my boss's house. So we were there from 11AM till 4PM. Then my neighbors were doing a kid's movie out on the front lawn with a big blow-up screen so that was fun but late. Sat I took DD to the beach bonfire and today I'm taking her to the fair in town. Oh and there are these 3 girls that are...interesting. I spent a lot of time talking to them at the beach. But I don't really want to talk about them too much. I'm trying not to go down that road...

STBXW called my phone (she's back east till Mon, no idea why?) around 10AM but I was busy cleaning up around the house so didn't see it until noon and then we had to get ready for the beach. I figure she'd call back if she wanted to talk to DD but she didn't so on the way back from the beach around 9PM I let DD call her. It was midnight there and the background noise sounded like a huge party or some kind- she could barely hear DD and kept talking over DD cuz she couldn't hear her. She said stuff like 'sweetie I miss you soooo much, no I'm not at grandma's house but I will be in a bit, we can call you later. Did you have fun with daddy? you did? I knew you would. I'll see you in a couple of days ok?'

Anyway...still haven't sent the email to her but I need to soon. Still not sure if it's what I want to say.

Glad most of you guys found me after the name change...some are still MIA.

[newmama]

Wow, your weekend sounds so fun! And what do you mean 3 girls at the beach? I am not asking for the purpose of dating or anything, I am just curious as to where you met them and how you started talking to them! Could you please fill us in without too much detail?

[ImprovedRomeo]

Well they're all foreign students from Switzerland and as I was playing with DD on the beach they came over and said 'hi, you're so adorable with your daughter. When you have a minute can you please rub this sun tan lotion on us?' I looked at them and said 'are you nuts? I'm not that kinda guy you know and I'm under strict order from wii not to do this kinda stuff' -

OK seriously, they are not foreign or anything, just these girls that I've seen at the meetup group events like the bonfire. They're totally friendly, all three young divorced moms. One of them is super sweet and always helps me with stuff...very homely - oh and trust me neither I nor anyone I know like bitchy women so that much talked about book here 'why men love bitches?' or something I really don't know if I'll follow it. We want nice caring women.

Anyway, so then there this 4th girl too, she's a bit younger, no kids and she's texted me a few times like 'It was great talking to you the other day if you want to hangout my nights are free on x y z' etc. The other day I even had a dream about her and woke up just feeling without energy to even get out of the bed. I think my mind was fighting my heart all night. It was weird. Appearance wise she's cute but a bit overweight. I'd totally go out with her for a casual date or two but I don't think I'm ready for a long term relationship. Actually it's even more complicated with her than the others and I don't want to talk about it here...maybe FB.

Overall I think it was really nice that I ended up talking to so many girls this weekend. At one time I was so desperate for any woman to say/show that I was OK looking etc. So this kinda validated for me that I am in fact desirable by the opposite sex that I don't need to be so worried like I have been in the past.

Now it's becoming complicated and I'm feeling a bit trapped. So I need to just chill and not even think about this. And somehow let the 4th girl down easy...even though I want to hang out with her it'll only make things more complicated later.

[BobbiJo]

Wow! Several ladies on the horizon, eh? I hear you on 'complicated'...I had one date with a co-worker that turned into quite racy texting on occasion, but I let it fizzle out and we didn't go out again. It would have been way too complicated considering I have to coach speech kids with him...

One day I am fired up to date, one day I don't want to date for years, till the kids are grown and out. So I am just going with the flow for now. Maybe someday I will be approached at the beach by three hot guys...then again I live nowhere near a beach.

I like the name.Even if we don't improve our marriages we should all strive to improve ourselves.