No new news, lawyer is still sitting on the documents I need, gonna follow up yet again with him.
First Thanksgiving without the family actually was fine. I had to work on Friday and have no family nearby, so just cooked some turkey for myself and watched football. W called a couple of times, which I ignored, only left one message which was my daughter wishing me a happy Thanksgiving, which was nice.
Looking forward to Christmas, as I'll have the kids. New job is going way better than I had even hoped, so I am pretty happy right now.
I'd love to start dating, so I may ease into that. A perfect situation came up with a woman I have always admired since high school. She has never married and just ended a 10 year relationship. One big catch: she lives 1000 miles away. Quite unfortunate as if she was local I'm sure we'd be going out right now. I'm a bit leary of dating sites as people I know who have used them report too many crazy people on there, so I may just have to wait and see what comes "naturally".
Daughter woke up in the middle of the night and asked to sleep in my bed. Said "I'm having bad dreams. And I want you and mommy to live together as I'm starting to miss you both."
I just let it go, as I didn't have the heart to tell her that that will never happen. I'm fine with it, but unfortunately the kids are inevitably the ones who pay the steepest price for the poor choices of their parents...
WAW Using God Me-43 W-40 M-14 S-11 S-9 D-7 EABomb 5/09 Separated 12/09
Doing well, spin, thanks for asking. And I'm a Nittany Lion, so I have other concerns besides the Big 12 Title game, LOL.
W actually is pushing me for paperwork from my L, who continues to be unengaged. At least I won't have to worry about getting this over with due to delays on her end.
Very happy other than times I ruminate on what has been taken from me. But that is out of my control and something I have to deal with. Very soon I know I will experience a happiness beyond what I currently think is possible. My "right girl" is out there, it's just a matter of me exposing myself to as many opportunities as possible. I admit I am impatient, but I also realize that I will know it when I see it now, unlike when I first dated my W.
WAW Using God Me-43 W-40 M-14 S-11 S-9 D-7 EABomb 5/09 Separated 12/09
Basically had to set up a recurring weekly meeting with my L to get him to get his butt in gear on the paperwork, but it's finally in my hands, revised a couple of times, and just needs one last review by me before sending it to my W. So hopefully everything will be relatively smooth and all this will be behind me soon.
Christmas was great, although my W basically hosed me on an agreement we'd made regarding when I got the kids. I wanted to maintain status quo as much as possible, which meant going to Christmas Eve mass, but W kept them too long for us to make it and we had to go on Christmas Day. She basically exploited a loophole in our agreement (I gave a window of time when the kids should be dropped off Christmas Eve and she honored the window but not the spirit of the agreement).
She told me ahead of time that she would not be dropping the kids off in time for us to make church. I wasn't too happy about that, and we argued about it when I dropped the kids off with her earlier in the week. At which point she kicked me out of her apartment.
I suppose it is a good thing to see these behaviors ahead of time so that I am not complacent in writing up our legal documents. I have to anticipate her stunts and ensure wording is included to preempt them.
After Christmas I took the kids up to see their mom's parents. My W chose to spend Christmas with the OM rather than her parents. While I couldn't fathom doing that if my parents were still alive, to each his own I guess. I'm sure they were thrilled about that. At least my in-laws still treat me the same as always.
WAW Using God Me-43 W-40 M-14 S-11 S-9 D-7 EABomb 5/09 Separated 12/09
I hope all of this shows you that you are on the right path. It is so weird seeing your stbx through your eyes.
Your stbx is/was my mom. So many similarities. All "down in the front pew" but NOTHING stands between her and her next man. Be strong. Be there for your kids. Whenever you work for your kids you never lose. They know you were there.
Just checking in. I am also glad you are doing well and glad that you were the "bigger person" and took the kids to the in-laws on Christmas. I must feel pretty good to still be in good standing with them. You are also teaching the kids about the importance of family. Something that is sadly missing in society these days. Good for you!
I just had a very long conversation with my Mom about her relationship with her daughter and what my sister is mad about what she can do to repair it. (She never once asked about her relationship with me....)
Standing up for your kids is great. They will remember.
Is your wife still using religion as a crutch to support her affair or has she thrown up her hands thrown out pretense?
No news, Spin. She's got the paperwork but has not replied with any counteroffer yet.
We still need to spin through the details of the finances.
She actually sent me a note asking me to say a prayer for her because she is worried she might lose her job due to some downsizing. She said "You may not care and you may laugh at this request, but could you say a little prayer for me and my job?"
I replied that her mind has created a pigskin that doesn't exist, and I wouldn't want to be married to him either.
I told her I pray for her every night and will until the day I die.
Sad to think that she feels I might laugh at the prospect of her losing her job. Her twisted mind conveniently paints a portrait of some complete a$$ to justify her affair.
And yes, as far as I can tell, it is still going strong.
But if you told me I would never see her again for the rest of my life, I honestly would reply "So?" Would make no difference to me.
WAW Using God Me-43 W-40 M-14 S-11 S-9 D-7 EABomb 5/09 Separated 12/09
I replied that her mind has created a pigskin that doesn't exist, and I wouldn't want to be married to him either.
I told her I pray for her every night and will until the day I die.
Sad to think that she feels I might laugh at the prospect of her losing her job. Her twisted mind conveniently paints a portrait of some complete a$$ to justify her affair.
Yep. That's why all of the intuitive things just don't work with someone who has checked out of the R. Her view of reality is nowhere near close to the truth. Too bad for her that she chooses not to see it.
Glad to hear you are doing well. I don't check in as much as I should but you are always in my prayers. I hope this mess ends for you, soon. I filed a week ago. My W has been a super biotch ever since. You would think she would be happy, she's getting what she want. I hope she sees "it". She probably won't, either. I will be fine no matter what. I know it.
