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it seems my hunch was correct.
i had a mini bomb dropped on me today.
i am beginning to lose faith.

coach, what do i do?

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Tell us more about the bomb?

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financial statements for s agreement drafted by MY l shows that i may end up paying HIM.
h's father has had access to h's investment account during the course of our m and h's father made some bad investments.
creating big losses for h.
this showed in his statements and resulted in a lower net worth for him.
so despite making 1/4 of what h makes, i end up having to pay him an equalization amount.

also, if i want to keep my rings, jewellery, and handbag (that were gifts PRE-marriage), that equalization payment jumps to 10x what i'd have to pay him now.

while he's jetsetting with his parents on lavish vacations, i'm supporting myself, no vacations, not asking for spousal support, and he walked away with the lion share of the household goods.

i have to fight for my jewellery and to keep my jewellery, i must pay for it?! and i am responsible for the debt that HIS father created?!

this is the payback i get for doing the right thing during our m.

Last edited by DumpedforMIL; 07/14/10 07:22 PM.
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Quote:
it seems my hunch was correct.


What? You got served D papers?


What you do doesn't change. Let me go look over on Shelby's thread.......


M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12
Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
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Time for a new atty. I've never heard of EITHER ONE of these things (counting "net worth" instead of "income" in alimony and CS calculations, or pre-marriage jewelry being anything OTHER than sole property)!

And a good atty should be able to help you document a demonstrable case of "squandering of marital assets," that should come out of YOUR HUSBAND's side of the equation!

I haven't followed your sitch all that closely, MIL, but this doesn't sound right to me.

Puppy

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Quote:
and i am responsible for the debt that HIS father created?!


Can you prove it? Do you have a paper trail? If you ACH'd or wired money there is a record. Did your H sign a POA? Were you on the acct?

Remember this is business, don't get snarky. Facts are what you need. Dates, records, statements, receipts, confirmations etc.

Quote:
this is the payback i get for doing the right thing during our m.


lose that thinking it's unproductive, you are feeling sorry for yourself. You can only control how you act now. Handle it.


M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12
Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
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i'm so ready to tear my atty a new a$$hole.

my l asked for honesty from me. i gave him honesty.
i have not lied on my statement. i did not hide anything. i did not create any sudden debts.

and now i'm on the hook for debts his father helped HIM incur?
bs

Last edited by DumpedforMIL; 07/14/10 07:34 PM.
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Don't tear him a new anything. Ask him/her "What can we do about making a case for squandering marital assets with his expenditures on X, Y and Z since (date)??" and "Help me understand why net worth is being used as the determination for support, rather than income? At a minimum, shouldn't BOTH be taken into account?"

I had the opposite problem. I had a very high income, but a very low net worth. And trust me, it was the INCOME that the court cared about.

Puppy

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You don't understand how the game is played. Now you counter. The more you both haggle the more the attorneys are involved (in case you didn't know they get paid by the hour not the case) and the longer it goes on. To reach the middle they start on the edge.

learn the rules of this game, it's a legal negotiation. When emotions get involved is when it gets stupid. You are no where near detached enough. Your anger is still a hindrance to you. Work on it.

You can handle it.


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Quote:
Time for a new atty. I've never heard of EITHER ONE of these things (counting "net worth" instead of "income" in alimony and CS calculations, or pre-marriage jewelry being anything OTHER than sole property)!

his l has stated that "both parties are able to support themselves so spousal support is not necessary."

if it's true that my net worth is more than his, it will be difficult for me to make a claim for spousal support.

Quote:
And a good atty should be able to help you document a demonstrable case of "squandering of marital assets," that should come out of YOUR HUSBAND's side of the equation!

there is no paper trail on this. his father simply logged on with his son's password and id. with their family, there is no paper trail. it's all done verbally. i do not know his password or id.

i am livid.

Last edited by DumpedforMIL; 07/14/10 07:46 PM.
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