This has happened to me before, but has now happened again: what is the best response when a WAS discovers your posts here? Anyone else have experience with this?
Thanks, I've said as much before. But what if WAS is posting not to engage but to provoke? And how can I legitimately distance and detach if WAS is reading everything I say?
SS2, When Greek found this place she was mad at first, didn't understand the techniques (thought it was a "game"), and was upset I was so "talkative." I had to let her process thru it own her own, her issues with DB were her issues. The community here helped me and I was grateful.
Quote:
But what if WAS is posting not to engage but to provoke?
That is just insecurity. It's passive aggressive. It's a desire to communicate but doing it in a unhealthy way.
Quote:
And how can I legitimately distance and detach if WAS is reading everything I say?
I would use it as opportunity to let both of you to speak your mind. I wouldn't post any disrespectul, hurtful or personal attacks but maybe use the forum to start a healthy dialouge. 180 him but don't tell him - shhhssshhh. I think the fact he is reading means he is interested in you and learning more.
You can handle it.
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
SS2, When Greek found this place she was mad at first, didn't understand the techniques (thought it was a "game"), and was upset I was so "talkative." I had to let her process thru it own her own, her issues with DB were her issues. The community here helped me and I was grateful.
I just got this last night. She thinks its a game, that she is not going to play. I assured her it is no game.
Quote:
And how can I legitimately distance and detach if WAS is reading everything I say?
Originally Posted By: Coach
I would use it as opportunity to let both of you to speak your mind. I wouldn't post any disrespectul, hurtful or personal attacks but maybe use the forum to start a healthy dialouge. 180 him but don't tell him - shhhssshhh. I think the fact he is reading means he is interested in you and learning more.
You can handle it.
Cheers
I would love if my W came on here. Then we both could get good advice, plus we could converse civily.
Last edited by CPCajun; 06/30/1002:50 PM.
Me 31 Wife 34 (Step)D 15 /(Step)S 13 / D 6 Married 3/3/01 Separated 6/4/10 Bomb 6/14/10 Served 6/22/10 EA/PA Discovered 7/5/10 Now Back Together 8/1/10
A: "Considering where we are in our marriage right now, I needed some support from others who were going thru the same thing."
Originally Posted By: silentspring2
...And how can I legitimately distance and detach if WAS is reading everything I say?
I would like to suggest that you chose your words carefully when you post. Speak the truth. Do not let fear control you. If S is posting to you, validate with "I am sorry you feel that way". Set boundaries if needed.
I also know some people here change some facts without loosing the support. Does it really matter if I have my age as 43 or 39? If I list 5 kids vs 3. If I live in Colorado or Kansas? If I saw Spouse at baseball game vs .....How much reading would WAS need to do while searching for your thread...They might learn something on the way...
Everything happens for a reason.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
