detach for alittle while. find something you like and do it. that way you aren't breaking any vows, abondanding the marriage and it starts you moving in a direction instead of standing still. whatever he did doeasn't make it right or by you doing something doesn't mean you don't care. just do the best you can for you.
Why, Why, Why, everyone goes through this stage. I am sorry that you are hurting, that your life seems like it is in shambles and falling apart. I just looked at my ex fb page and went through her 200 friends to see what comments she made. She made one and it wasn't bad. I wasted 2 hours on this. Why, Why , why are you letting this drive you crazy. You, like me, have to take control of your emotions and calm down. You can not change another person's feelings or actions, in fact, as dumb as it is, in break ups it even pushes them away. Sounds stupid, my friend and lover will be repulsed by me the harder I try to save or get back relationship. I don't understand but it is what they teach on this site. I said it a little differently. They teach patience. Waiting and letting him miss you. The whole thing about improving yourself is not something you want to here right now but I think it is used to get your mind off of him and accomplish something while he is deciding what to do. The more you pursue him the less chance you have. I know that to be true. I am sorry that you are hurting. Jeff
I know, I know.. Now I can't sleep. I am really consumed with what he is communicating to her, if he has told his family he has a OW (and is that why they have not even called to say hello?) I want to know. I want to ask him outright if he is seeing/sleeping with her?
Me 41/H 49 M 12yrs No Kids Bomb 1/10/2010 H Deployed The three great essentials to achieve anything worth while are, first, hard work; second, stick-to-itiveness; third, common sense. T. Edison
Yes, I am consumed with thoughts of my ex also. That is why I spend so much time on this site. Somehow it makes me feel a litle better writing it down. I have gotten over the jealousy for now and don't even worry about it for now. If we got back then I would probably bring it up. We are not smart or healthy right now.
Don't waste time analying your H's actions. Plan your Montreal trip instead. You need to focus on looking after yourself and making yourself happy - no one else will do it! You know you'd be ok with or without your H.
M 39 H 41 T9 M6 EA found Dec 09 Separated Apr to Jun 10 Currently in house separation
Okay. I have been trying to focus on myself. However, I have to know what is going to happen. I have decided to ask my H to decide what he wants now. I just want to know so that I can move on with my life.
Me 41/H 49 M 12yrs No Kids Bomb 1/10/2010 H Deployed The three great essentials to achieve anything worth while are, first, hard work; second, stick-to-itiveness; third, common sense. T. Edison
Okay, I can't breathe!!! I am so worried about him communicating with the OW. He was emailing me before (almost daily) and nothing in a few days. It looks like she just joined FB early this week and my H is her only friend. Does that mean she signed up just for him?
Me 41/H 49 M 12yrs No Kids Bomb 1/10/2010 H Deployed The three great essentials to achieve anything worth while are, first, hard work; second, stick-to-itiveness; third, common sense. T. Edison
If I decide to expose the affair, he will most suredly be angry! and probably never speak to me again. He will tell that that he believed our marriage was over a long time ago and that I just refused to accept it. He said is no longer attracted to me. This man I love and have taken care of!!!!!!! I want to scream. And to top it of, our anniversary is tomorrow - July 17th..
Me 41/H 49 M 12yrs No Kids Bomb 1/10/2010 H Deployed The three great essentials to achieve anything worth while are, first, hard work; second, stick-to-itiveness; third, common sense. T. Edison
If I decide to expose the affair, he will most suredly be angry!
What's your proof? Do you have hard facts - copies of e-mails, receipts, pictures of them together.........
Friends on FB is not a smoking gun to expose. He can just make you look like you are overreacting.
Do you think you are attractive to him right now? Why don't you post some new goings on in your life on FB.
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he will most suredly be angry! and probably never speak to me again. He will tell that that he believed our marriage was over a long time ago and that I just refused to accept it.
MINDREADING You are making everything out to be the worst. This kills your attitude. If it's so awful and you have no hope then give up.
July 17th is just another day, like all other days. Make the most of it.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
July 17th is just another day, like all other days. Make the most of it.
coach is right on this. i went through my anniversary alone about a month ago. it came. it went. just another day. and at the end if the day, i completely forgot it was my anniversary.
the key to it was not planning anything special. don't talk yourself into going out to a fancy restaurant. planning stuff around the "anniversary" makes things worse, imo.
